Decode
by Toki Ddoki
Summary: Shiori is extraordinarily ordinary, that is to say, nothing about her could send her into the uncertain future; but she soon finds out that's not the case. Choices have to be made, though it's not clear which ones are quite right to take. RenjixOC
1. Prologue

_To sleep, perchance to dream—ay, there's the rub:  
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come,  
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,  
Must give us pause—there's the respect  
That makes calamity of so long life._

– Hamlet act 3, scene 1

It was silent.

Silence was strange to me, especially after the past few months. I took a deep breath, eyes fixed in front of me on the figure. His eyes watched me cautiously. He had closed off from me, and he knew I was his enemy.

I longed to know what he thought now. Knowing might aid me in surviving, something I did not think I was going to be able to manage to do. It was my own fault, I had carelessly followed after him, into his trap. I had knowingly done it. I suppose, this whole situation could be considered by some to be some sort of ironic suicide.

The monster paced, eyes peering at me. He was trying to figure out what I knew, trying to figure out what I would do. I did not even know that myself. His eyes gleamed with devilish delight, when he was positive that his plan had worked.

His lips pulled back into a smirk.

I grimaced and crouched down, ready to pounce.

The monster relaxed his stance, smiled lightly and he was suddenly gone. I closed my eyes, took a few deep breaths then smiled too.

There was no pain...


	2. Old Mule

**Chapter 1**

The car bombed down the road. It made an awful noise, as it always did when our scrappy old car was forced to work too long. The old mule would refuse to work soon and we would be left stranded; I was sure of that fact. The rain outside added to the noise, a constant thunk against the heap of scrap metal. And again. And again.

It didn't usually rain here, that surprised me; when we'd left the airport and stepped into the fresh air, it had been sunny. I must have fallen asleep sometime while in the old car- while it was silent anyway, because I don't remember when the weather turned so foul. It didn't rain here often- or rather, it didn't used to. I haven't lived here since I was ten.

It was a 13 hour flight from Paris to Tokyo, and then another few hours by car. A car that worked right, I was positive, that the journey would not take another few hours in this car, perhaps we would never get there. The old mule was sounding hoarse, and as it struggled up a h ill I imagined it wheezing and choking. That's how it sounded.

A pack mule would have been better than this lump of scrap metal.

I debated on another nap, but it would be impossible to sleep now. The rain and the hoarse coughing of the car would see that I would stay awake. There was no conversation to keep me occupied; my mother was concentrating on trying to stay awake. She spoke little these days.

We had lived here, in Japan, until I was ten. About seven years we had lived in Paris, I had not suggested the move, nor had I been fond of the idea when my mother sat me down and told me that she, and her new husband at the time, were moving and that I was to go with them. My birth father died when I was five, so there was no other option for a ten year old but to go along with the cruel, and unfair exile my mother, and her husband, had enforced on me at the time.

I had thought about running away a few times, and once or twice I had acted upon my thoughts. It rained a lot more in Paris, and the thunderstorms would send me home in tears. I hated thunderstorms, but I've grown used to them now. But it doesn't rain much here, and I was going to have to adjust to the heat.

The car slowed down, and I wondered if this was it. The old thing had given up, wheezed it's last breath and was now refusing to go anywhere. I wondered what would happen to him if he died- he would go to a junk yard, would people use him for parts? He probably wasn't even good enough for that. My mother had bought him second hand before I was born, the thing was ancient now. It would not surprise me if we had broken down.

My mother sighed softly as she pulled up on a curb; I was sure she was annoyed that we were going to have to walk the rest of the way. It was already late, and we were both exhausted from the long journey.

"It hasn't changed one bit." I could hear her curl up her nose and furrow her brows as she spoke. She'd loved the house before, when my father was alive; now she obviously detested it.

I felt almost like I should reward the mule with some kind of treat, for getting us here; but the simple fact my mother wouldn't be using him for a while sounded enough repayment. He deserved a break, just like us.

"No, someone painted the outside."

I looked out of the windows and grimaced. The house had been a white colour before, with the brickwork bare on the bottom. The previous owners seem to have painted it a sunflower yellow. Needless to say, it stuck out like a sore thumb and I did not like this one bit. I hated attention myself, but when the house I lived in was obviously the main character in a movie...

With a berated sigh I got out of the car. The rain soaked me in a matter of minutes, so I hurried about with the suitcases. All of our other belongings remained in Paris, sold with the house. We had new furniture for here. Well, it was new to me anyway. It belonged to the past owners, and was apparently, all in good condition.

I'd have to see about that.

I needed an early night, I started school here in the morning and I wanted to be able to pay a little attention. Maybe I would recognise someone from when I was little. I doubted it, or, they would not recognise me back. Nothing about me stands out; I'm short, small in general really. My skin is pale and my face is painted with a few freckles. I got those from my father. Other than that, I looked like my mother.

I had the same dark hair, only she'd left hers to grow and I'd cut mine so it fell no further than my chin. We had the same green eyes; hers had darkened with age, and become a sickly kind of colour in the past few months. Her skin had been tanned, but now looked a yellow colour. Her long hair was constantly tied back, and never looked washed.

She takes good care of herself, but I suppose when you're terminally ill you're not going to look perfect a lot of the time.

The past year had been hard on her. She had divorced her husband, my step-father- only I'd rather not call him that for I did not like him so much. The divorce had been messy; he'd won everything, the house, most of their money. All she had been left with was our clothes, our scrappy old car and a small bit of money so we could come back to Japan and re-buy our old house. I think it was rented, my mother would always change the subject when I'd asked.

That type of thing, my mother- as strong and as independent as she had been, could have gotten over swiftly. But a few months after, she had found out that she was sick. I couldn't' remember what she had- I tried my hardest not to think of it. She hated people fussing over her because of it, and she hated having to ask for help. The illness, would eventually kill her within the next few years. Her health would deteriorate until she wouldn't be able to get out of bed.

I bit my lip and swallowed the lump in my throat that had built up thinking about it.

And so I did not think about it, my mother would not die. They would find a cure for her before she did, I was positive of that. I didn't' see how fate could be so cruel to one person who'd had enough in her life, that it would kill her. I refused to believe it would.

My mother often reprimanded me for these thoughts, and told me to grow up and accept the fact she would die.

I refused to believe she would.

The house smelt funny; obviously lived in for the past few years. I wondered if they'd had a cat, there were claw marks on the bannisters. I didn't look anywhere else in the house as I headed upstairs into my old room. It had been years since I'd been here, but I still remembered it clearly. Like riding a bike I suppose.

I did not pay attention to how my room looked now. I put my suitcase down in the middle of the floor, and automatically fell onto the bed. I was tired, and, even if it did smell strange and hostile, it was comfy.

Sleep consumed me quickly, and I did not hear the rain outside.


	3. Rangiku

**Chapter 2**

Karakua town had not changed one bit. In the sunlight I could remember why I loved this small town so much, why I had not wanted to move in the first place. I had hated Paris. I'm not fond of learning new languages, plus the culture is completely different. It was loud there.

It's quiet here, and I enjoy the peace and quiet.

It was still quite early, the sky was a pale orange and the streets were somewhat deserted- apart from teenagers, who, like myself, were off to school. This was not something I was looking forward to. I would become centre of attention, the new girl, the one everyone wanted to know everything about.

I grimaced at the idea, and almost found myself falling over a stone on the pavement. I let out a long sigh, straightened myself out and carried on walking. It was cold, as far as the temperature here goes, but I was still warm. It would take some adjusting to, but it would happen and eventually I would complain how cold it was right now.

The high school was a half hour walk from where I lived. I had set out earlier than perhaps needed, but it meant there would be less people around to peer at me as I walked through the corridors, getting odd glances as I tried to find my way.

The area was already swarming with students, most of the loud and sounding somewhat care free. I felt strange, in the middle of all of these unknown people to be by myself. Not one person glanced at me and I was happy.

That would change, of course, when it was brought to peoples attention that there was a new student and it wouldn't' take them long to recognise my face being the new one around. My slight accent would also give me away.

It was too loud here for my liking. Nothing about it had changed, apart from everyone had gotten older... louder. I sighed to myself, brushing some of my hair behind my ear as I took a brave step into the classroom.

All eyes turned to me instantly. Most of them were appraising me, trying to figure out if I would be worth anything to any of them and then in turn if I was worth spending any time getting to know. A few of the students went back to what they were doing, confirming that I was indeed nothing special to them.

A few eyes stayed fixed on me, mostly the quieter students. Most of them were uninterested stares, their eyes only stuck to me because there was nothing else to stare at. A few of the stares were anxious.

I shifted awkwardly under the scrutiny of those gazes, hid under my fringe and walked to the teacher. She didn't make me stand in front and introduce myself, she sent me straight to my seat. It was next to one of the kids who had been staring at me. He was rather intimidating to look at. Quite big, bright red hair and a permanent scowl on his face.

A few other students had odd coloured hair, there was one boy- quite short, a few seats in front of me, who had white hair. A strangely very well endowed woman was sat next to him talking quite animatedly with a red haired girl beside her. They were both smiling a lot, and it bugged me.

There was one other boy with the same shade hair as one of the girls, and even one of them was bald. It was the ones with the... strange coloured hair- or lack of hair, that had been staring at me so curiously before.

I felt the boy beside me shift, and turn to look at me. I did not look up to meet his gaze, I stared down at my desk and then he looked back in front. His gaze would shift to mine every now and then.

This stayed the same most of the lesson. Sometimes one of the other's would glance at me instead, and then they'd all share the same look. It bugged me. I absolutely hated attention, and I did not like the attention I was getting from them. It did not seem like good attention to be getting, either, and I felt increasingly anxious that I would get attacked or mobbed as I headed home.

When the bell went, I scurried around for my belongings, throwing them into my bag and dashing out. I tripped on my way out and almost fell over, but I managed to steady myself. My pace did not slow, even as I went down a flight of stairs- knowing I should because I would most likely trip if I didn't.

I was anxious to get away from their stares, but even more anxious to be alone. What if that was what they wanted?

I gulped and held my book closer to me. I would be safer in a crowd of people, they wouldn't' do anything then, right?

It took me a few moments to calm my nerves and then I headed outside. It had warmed up a lot, and most of the students seemed to be eating lunch outside. I had a single piece of fruit for my lunch, and even so... I did not feel very hungry any more.

My stomach churned up.. Crumpled up like a ball of paper. I could feel their whispers. I couldn't' help myself this time, I glanced at them as I walked by, then snapped my head forward. The short one of the group, the one with white hair, had been staring at me. It wasn't the same stare as before, scrutinising... It was curious. His eyes were full of unanswered questions, and it made me more nervous.

Now instead of feeling like I may get attacked or mugged for my personal belongings, I felt like I would be robbed for answers. I hated speaking about myself, and this made me more anxious.

I found a shady spot to sit under one of the trees, as far away from all the others as possible. No one had tried to talk to me yet and I was thankful. I didn't' want to be alone, but I didn't feel like having company either.

"Your name is Shiori, correct?"

Apparently my wish wasn't coming true.

I gulped down the bile which had brewed in my throat when I'd heard the voice; it was one of the women from the group. There had been three of them, a short dark haired girl- who was small in the extreme rather much like myself. An average height one with red hair who was rather busty, and then the tall blonde who stood in front of me.

She was quite beautiful, and I felt a little anxious being in her presence. "T-that's correct."

She chuckled softly and I looked up.

"There's no need to be shy," there was an amused smile on her lips as she crouched down in front of me. She probably thought herself innocent, but she was like a dragon to me. Her attention shifted to me would surely kill me, and the burning in my cheeks was caused by the scorch of her fiery breath.

I shuddered.

"I'm Rangiku," she introduced. "Why don't you come sit with us?"

I looked back down to the book I had opened to distract myself; so I had looked busy and people wouldn't disturb me.

"I'm okay on my own," I whispered, hoping she would leave.

I could hear the pout in her voice. "Well... that's okay, do you mind if I sit here?" She sat down regardless and I moved over to give her more space, and to more of a gap between us. "It's quiet here."

I didn't reply.

She huffed lightly, resting back against the tree and resting her hands behind her head. She did not like me ignoring her. "I don't bite, you know." She went silent and I turned the page in my book. "I don't mean any harm at all, but you were all alone. You haven't spoken to anyone today. Are you new in town?"

She was asking questions. Questions about me which I'd rather not answer, as harmless as they were. I had a theory if I answered these, it wouldn't' be too long before she asked me the ones which had lingered in the other boys eyes.

She clicked her tongue.

"I used to live here, I just moved back."

I could almost feel her pleased smile that I had replied to her.

Rangiku went silent, and I had hoped that was all the questions she had. My hope was in vein, just as I started getting into my book, and went to turn the page; her voice broke the silence.

"You should sit with my friends and I," she smiled more. "None of us bite, Ikkaku can be a bit brash, so can Renji. But they're boys! Rukia and Inoue are quite nice, I'm sure you'll like them."

I did not reply, and she growled.

Rangiku had a short temper. That was apparent when she pulled my book from my hands.

"What is so interesting about this anyway?" She flicked through it looking for answers, but with the speed the pages were going, she couldn't possibly have been looking seriously.

"I really just want to read my book, Rangiku-san."

Rangiku tutted twice then handed my book back. "You really should come sit with us, having some friends will do you good." She patted her skirt down as she stood up. I looked up at her and sighed; her cleavage was practically bursting out of her shirt. I didn't know if I felt embarrassed FOR her, or because compared to her, I really was quite small.

"Why are you trying so hard to get me to sit with you?" I frowned, closing my book and slipping it into my bag.

Her eyes lit up; apparently she took this as a sign that I would be joining them.

"No one else has made an effort, and I can't stand seeing people alone."

I didn't quite believe her; she sounded like she had an ulterior motive and I moved my eyes up to stare at her. I could see the curiosity in her eyes. "If you have a question, please just ask it."

She sighed and folded her arms. "I have no other questions, I don't even have another motive. You're such a pretty thing, it's sad to see you alone."

The dragon made my cheeks burn again, and I gulped. Coming from her, being called pretty... "I don't mind. I quite like being alone... It makes it easier to think."

Rangiku shifted weight from one foot to another, let out a long sigh and her shoulders slumped. "Well... okay. But, if you want company..." She smiled invitingly. "Please feel free to join us. The others don't mind at all."

I went to say that it wasn't likely to happen, but she had already turned and walked away to her friends. The other two girls turned to stare curiously at me for a few moments, then the white haired boy's glare shot at me. It wasn't angry, it was curious, and more like he was annoyed. He seemed to bark something at Rangiku, I saw her reply and then the group burst into laughter. He fumed at her, folded his arms, pouted and looked away.

I didn't understand the feeling in my stomach as I watched them. It did not, crumple it's self up like it had earlier when I had been positive they would rob me. Instead it felt rather deflated and empty.

I stared at my uneaten apple, but didn't feel hungry.

Rangiku felt my stare and looked up, a large smile on her face. She waved me over and I was close to taking a few steps towards them. I shook my head, giving her a small smile, before ehadign back into the building.

I did not usually crave attention from people, and I did not seek company of others outside of my mother. I convinced myself I was not jealous of their strong friendships. They were loud, something I detested vehemently. They seemed to know each other very well- they teased each other, but not enough to hurt their feelings. I was uneasy with having others know much about me. It probably could change, I probably could change if I wanted to.

Years of social exclusion, social isolation- all on my own part, poked at the back of my mind and I sighed. I could change, if I wanted to; but I did not want to. I enjoyed my quiet little bubble.

But, where was the harm in spending one lunch time with them? To see how it was? Perhaps Rangiku would not bug me again if I tried it once. She should have no objection to that.

I sighed deeply and shook my head as I returned to the classroom.

Rangiku and her friends had returned and they all snapped up to stare at me as I entered. I stuttered a quiet hello and hid beneath my fringe. I heard the blonde tut and sigh as I walked to my seat.

The boy with the red hair beside me chuckled, shook his head and started speaking with the bald guy in front of him.

I was thankful he, and the others- including Rangiku, did not try to speak with me. I could tell she had wanted to, but the boy with the white hair had glared at her and she'd stayed in her seat. I was curious of the group, and I felt sick at the feeling of wanting to know more about them.

Mostly I was curious about the look in their eyes as they stared at me. The stares went from hostile, to friendly, to curious quite quickly. Like they could not make up their mind who I was, and why I was there.

The day dragged on slowly, Rangiku spoke to me once in between classes- trying to get me to slow down so she and I could walk together, with her other female friends, but I kept my pace ahead of her. Something told me she could have caught up with me easily; but she chose not to.

It was raining when I went home, and my mother was cooking dinner. We spoke little as we ate, she asked about my day, and I told her it had been good. I mentioned nothing of Rangiku and her friends, nor of the glances from the other's.

I exiled myself to my room after dinner with the excuse of homework, but I had little to do. Sleep found me before it grew dark outside, and for the first night I could ever remember; sleep was not peaceful and quiet.

The rest of the week passed much in the same way. Rangiku would approach me on my own at lunch, and would try to convince me to sit with her, before she fluttered off back to her friends. The curious glances stayed the same from them; but I had become indifferent to the other students by the end of the week.

I wondered how long it would take before Rangiku would give up trying to talk to me; she seemed persistent and I thought again how she could not argue if I tried it once. I pushed the thought to the back of my mind.

The following Monday, after spending a weekend of spring cleaning and stocking the house of edible food with my mother, I woke up to a hacking, coughing sound. I thought at first someone had decided to chop wood in our back garden.

It took me a few moments to realise the sounds were coming from the bedroom downstairs. I let out a small sigh, shook my head and hurried downstairs.

My mother was sat on the edge of the bed, looking the most sickly and frail as she had in a long time. I didn't mind looking after her; but I did wonder how long it would be before they would find a cure. Her cure.

There was no doubt in my mind, that she would survive.

Instead of heading off to school that morning, I took her around the corner to the small doctors clinic. She'd already been there a few times the previous week to introduce herself, but I hadn't been there myself.

Doctor Kurosaki was flamboyant, and his small clinic was empty. I wondered if he was really any good at his job for things to be so empty, and I pondered why his name was familiar. I didnt' listen to much he said, my mother would need to stay with him for a few hours so he could keep an eye on her, and then she'd be able to go back home- but she would need to rest.

I made arrangements with her to pick up groceries on the way home from school for dinner, and I was in the middle of making my list when the door opened.

It wasn't the front door to the clinic, but rather the door which joined the house next door to the clinic.

Two people stepped through. A boy- almost twice my height with wild orange, spiky hair and a girl, my height and size with short dark hair.

I realised why I recognised his name, and sighed softly. It would figure, my mothers doctor was the father of one of my class mates.

Ichigo stared at me curiously, then to my mother and his eyes softened. I did not want any pity, but he didn't seen to give it to me. "Rukia and I are off," he said firmly to his father.

Doctor Kurosaki stood up, grunted at his son, the smiled at the girl. She was not in the family, but I could not figure out why she was staying with them so openly. Perhaps she and Ichigo were together- in which case, why would his father and mother knowingly let them live together?

My mother would have a funny turn before she allowed that.

Rukia left first, and Ichigo lingered by the door way as he slipped his shoes on. He picked his book bag up and then turned. I thought for a moment he'd forgotten something. "Are you coming or not?"

I blinked in surprise, there was no one else he could possibly be talking to. "I-I have to stay with my mother."

"No, you go ahead, sweetie. I'm quite able to walk myself back, as hard as that is to believe."

I grit my teeth together and sighed.

I had a feeling Rangiku would be over the moon at this sudden turn of events; I, however, was not. Perhaps if it was Ichigo alone, things would not have been so bad; he didn't seem as chatty as h is friends... but Rukia had quite the penchant for conversation. I answered her questions politely, but with as small an answer as I could find.

Ichigo found that amusing, and Rukia seemed oblivious.

I hoped, with all the energy I could muster, that this was not going to be my new morning routine. The fact she was paying so much attention to me... made me feel uneasy, and yet somehow warm.

I did not like these unknown, and most definitely uninvited feelings and I tried to push them aside and ignore them. It was not easy to do, and as we approached the school I walked faster than them and lost them in the swarm of students. Maybe I would give eating lunch with them a try. I sighed at the thought of how absolutely over the moon Rangiku would be at this and shook my head.

Throwing myself into a pit of lions definitely seemed the favourable option to this, and most likely the less painful.


	4. Mother

**Chapter 3**

Rangiku was practically glowing when I walked into the class room with Ichigo and Rukia. She tried to speak to me, and assumed that I would perhaps sit with her, but I went to my seat and she pouted.

Rukia had a silly grin on her face all morning, as though she'd won some kind of competition.

I sighed inwardly.

The glances happened again, but not as bad as the day before. Mostly it was the red head beside me- Renji, I believe his name was. The white haired boy often turned around to glare at me, his eyes would soften, then he would go back to what he was doing.

Maybe, if I sat with them at lunch, I could get answers to my questions. I hated talking about myself, and I hated asking other people questions- I like being able to find out the answer on my own, this whole thing was just as bad as asking for help. I was as stubborn as my mother a lot of the time.

The morning passed slowly; I wondered if it had anything to do with the feat I was going to attempt at lunch. I swallowed hard as the bell went and the others filed out. Rangiku lingered at the door, almost waiting for me, then carried on when she figured I wasn't coming.

I would sit with them, but I needed to make sure I wasn't going to act like a fool.

I sighed softly, making sure my dark hair was in place, before heading after the crowd of students. It was rather warm today, a lot of the girls were sat in sunnier places with their jackets, shoes and socks off.

Rangiku was one of these girls, and she waved me over as soon as she saw me.

I still had time to back out.

I gulped, shook my head and slowly walked towards the group. A pleased smile came onto her lips, though the shock was in her eyes. Apparently she didn't think I would give in so easy. I just hoped she wouldn't continue to bug me after this; I enjoyed my peace and quiet far too much to do this every day.

The group fell silent as I approached, the three girls ushered me to sit by them- Rangiku pulled me down next to her and I made a soft 'oof' sound when I hit the grass.

"You came to sit with us today, Shiori-chan!" her voice was pleased. Of course it was. She had won.

I smiled, unsure.

"Oh, come now," she shook her head, stretching as she sat up. "Don't' be so shy," she sighed, looking around the group. "This is Yumichika and Ikkaku." She paused, leaning over. "Don't mention he's bald, apparently he shaves." I held in the small laugh, and she clicked her tongue. She didn't like me repressing that. "You know Rukia and Ichigo and myself..." she sighed, motioning to the last girl. "This is Inoue-san, I'm staying with her." She added it like I was going to need to find her after school at some point.

"That one, the big scary one is Renji!" The others snickered, Renji himself looked ready to tear her head off. I wondered if I would join him if he decided to. "And this is Hi- Toshirou," she cleared her throat.

Their eyes burned into me and I blushed, hiding in my fringe. "H-hello."

Rangiku sighed. "You're really quite painfully shy, aren't you?" she folded her arms, let out a small huff of a sigh, then her face lit up. "Tell us about you!"

"I don't really like to talk about myself," I whispered.

"Oh nonsense." As I figured, she'd have none of that.

"Your mother is my fathers patient, right?" it was Ichigo who spoke. I was kind of grateful, I had a feeling Rangiku would try and get all of my secrets about me. Ichigo asked about my mother.

I nodded. "Yes," I smiled weakly. "She's ill... but she's going to get better," I nodded. The others shared a look they didn't think I saw, and I sighed. "She will get better," I muttered. She had to get better. "She's already improved over the last few months."

Ichigo looked like he wanted to correct me but stayed silent.

"Rangiku-san said you used to live around here." Inoue spoke now, and I turned to look at her. I figured the questions about me would start now. "Perhaps you were in school with Kurosaki-san or myself?"

"I don't really remember anyone," I flustered. "It was a long time ago, and everyone has changed a lot." Ichigo did remind me of a kid who used to cling to his mothers hand... there was no way that happy boy was the same teenager. That one had a constant smile, this one a constant scowl.

"What about your father?" His voice was deep for his appearance, and I noted that he was just a little shorter than myself. I would have asked if he really should have been in high school but... I s should ask myself that too.

His question wasn't curious like the others, and he sounded annoyed. Like they'd had a plan of questions and had gotten off track. He wasn't curious. He was stern and commanding, taking charge of the situation and I found it very hard to not tell him what he wanted to know.

I stuttered about for a few moments. "He died, when I was young," I gulped. "There was no body, I.. uh..." I wasn't sure why I was telling him this, but he seemed pleased and he nodded.

"Why did you move to... to...-"

"Paris," Rangiku interjected.

"To there." Toshirou did not like having Rangiku interject, and he looked annoyed.

"My mother remarried." Yet again, it was hard to keep quiet. I could sense the next question before it was asked. "He cheated on her so they split up and we came home."

The group went silent, and I could feel another question they wanted to ask. But apparently they did not know how to ask it. "Just ask," I sighed softly.

Renji shifted. "Do you believe in spirits?"

They all stared at me curiously, and I burst into laughter. I wasn't really able to contain it and they all looked a bit insulted. "I-I'm sorry," I forced myself to stop laughing. "I don't really believe in any of that, it's insane. When you die, you die; that's the end of that... the e end." I shook my head and chuckled to myself.

I did not miss Toshirous glare, nor Rangikus confused look.

I ate in silence, and left before any more questions could come up.

The rest of the afternoon passed slowly and without incident. Only Toshirou looked at me again, and his gaze was puzzled. Rangiku did not try and speak with me, and I walked home slowly, and on my own.

I stopped to get groceries, by the time I was done it was starting to get dark outside. I walked home slowly too, trying to understand what happened that afternoon. Trying to understand why it bugged me so much too- I did not like the idea that they were perhaps angry at me.

It started to rain about half way home, and I sighed softly. The weather had been nice, I figured it was only right something else went wrong. Today was not my day.

I pulled the key out from the potted plant out the front of my house, opened the door and got inside. I slipped my shoes off at the door, hung my coat up and rested my book bag against the wall.

The house was silent.

"Mother?"

I blinked, finding it odd that she hadn't replied. Maybe she was still at the doctors, but there was no message on the machine from anyone to explain that. I sighed softly, walking into the kitchen and putting the groceries down.

The light in my mothers room was on, but the rest of the house was dark. Maybe she was asleep? She often slept a lot, so I didn't' disturb her.

I cooked dinner quickly, making sure there was enough for my mother when she woke up, ate just as fast, then retired to my room to do my homework.

When I as little, my room was a soft pink colour. Now it was painted a horrible brown colour. Even white would have been better. The bed was small- but to me it still seemed big, and was pushed against the far wall. There was a desk at the window with a small light sat on it, and there was a dresser on the wall opposite my bed. The floor was wood, and there was a small rug in the centre of the room. It was a purple colour, and like the bed sheets and curtains, did not match the colour of the walls- or anything else in the room.

By the time I was finished, I decided it was late enough to go to sleep- but I should wake my mother up first and make sure she ate. She would get more sick if she didn't.

Slowly I crept down the stairs, they were old and squeaky and no matter how carefully you trod they made a noise. I gave up half way down and walked normally- they seemed to be more quiet when you weren't trying to be silent.

Everything was as I'd left it, and I sighed softly as I pushed my mothers door open. I expected her to be on her bed, fast asleep as she often was, but she was not there.

I did not expect her to be sprawled on the floor at the bottom of her bed. I gulped, slowly moving forward. "Mother?" I knelt in front of her, and nudged her lightly.

Her skin was cold and I shot back against the wall. Her lips were blue and her skin was a pale colour. "No..." The words came out quiet. I could feel the tears running down my cheeks, but I didn't know I was crying. There were no sobs.

How had this happened?

She was going to get better! I was positive of that. There had been no doubt in my mind that she would get better, that a cure would be found for her. How had I been wrong?

And I did not even know where to begin. I should phone someone and tell her, but I didn't know who. The clinic would be closed, mostly everyone else would be asleep.

Rangiku.

She was staying with Inoue. I had no idea where that was, but I guessed I'd be able to find it easy. I hoped I wouldn't wake them up as I hurried outside. Ii was still raining and without my shoes or a coat, I could really feel it.

I wasn't sure where I was going, I followed my instinct. It was probably wrong, but I had a feeling that... the person I was looking for was this direction. I panted as I came up to an apartment block. I was soaked through and had fallen into a few puddles. My hair stuck to my face, but the rain was stopping. TI was just my luck.

I glanced at the names on the list of residents, and smiled lightly when I found it; Inoue Orihime, with Hitsugaya Toshirou and Matsumoto Rangiku scribbled on the side. Hopefully they would not be asleep.

I gulped lightly, moving up the stairs and knocking on the door. There was a bit of laughter inside, and the door flew open. Rangiku stood there, dressed in just a long t-shirt. There were a few cake crumbs on her face, and she smiled hugely when she saw me. "Shiori-chan!"

Her voice was ecstatic, but her expression slowly fell when she took me in. "Shiori-chan?" she frowned.

I wasn't sure why I'd come here. "My.. mother..." I stared at her numbly. I couldn't muster the rest of the words.

Rangikus arms found me quickly and she crushed me close to her. I barely heard her voice, she shouted something to Toshirou. I couldn't be sure if I was crying or if I had fallen asleep. Her arms were soothing, and she rubbed my back and stroked my hair as she led me to a table. She sat down and pulled me into her lap. I was positive she was older than what she seemed, but did not ask. I wasn't even sure I had a voice any more.

There was no way to describe this feeling. Drowning did not quite fit, because I could still breathe... just it was very hard. Falling did not work either, I knew my feet were firmly on the ground. Numb did not work either; as much as I wished it to be, for the pain to not be there, it was.

I did not sleep that night, and Rangikus arms did not leave me.


	5. Black Cat

**Chapter 4**

Inoues house was silent.

Rangiku had moved me from her arms some time early in the morning, and I was curled up on a futon. Sleep had not found me. Toshirou had disappeared, that or he'd gone completely silent. Rangiku sniffed in the other room. Inoue had left for school about half an hour ago, Rangiku remained behind.

I should probably get up; fix myself, start sorting everything out.

I let out a long sigh and rolled onto my stomach.

I had been so positive she would come out of this alone; it was unfair not to think it. My mother had gone through a lot, and for fate to be so cruel and kill her. I hated the world more than anything right now. The only family I had was gone.

Inoue seemed to get by living on her own... but she also had friends who stopped by and took care of her.

I was too proud... too stubborn to let anyone do that. If I even had friends. I'm sure Rangiku would disagree- she and her friends were my friends. I barely knew them, and had only met them a week ago. In my book, that was not good enough to denote friendship.

Rangiku let out a long sigh and I heard the shuffle of her clothes as she stood up. Her feet were almost silent as they walked along, but I heard them. The door pulled aside, and I could hear.. and feel the pity in her eyes. I wanted to snap at her, tell her to save it... But she had been so kind, I couldn't bring myself to do it.

"Shiori-chan... it's a nice day."

I rolled over and stared at the windows. I had drawn the shut out blinds, I could not see an ounce of sunlight.

"Don't you at least want to eat? I'm not sure what's too edible here... we could go out and get something?"

I ignored that suggestion too. Rangiku let out a sigh.

"At least talk to me."

It was reasonable, and I sighed, sitting up. "There's nothing to say..."

I heard the smile in her voice as she replied, "It honestly is such a beautiful day... some fresh air will do you good." She paused, I wondered if she was waiting for some indication I was listening so I turned to look at her. "I know a good place we can get a cup of tea," she smiled warmly.

It was hard to say no to her, so I shrugged and stood up. "I guess fresh air will do some good."

She smiled hugely and took my hand.

Rangiku was mostly immature, short tempered, a little dumb and quite lazy. She also had a good heart, and could be extremely mature and motherly when she wanted to be. She had stayed up with me the majority of the night, and didn't look tired at all.

"Where did Toshirou-san go?"

She stiffened lightly. "He... went to... phone home."

It sounded reasonable; they weren't from around here, they had to have a home elsewhere. "He's been gone along time."

She looked uncomfortable and somewhat worried. "Indeed."

We walked for a while; she would occasionally comment about something unimportant, and then she would go silent. I wondered where we were going. She was leading me along some streets I didn't remember- it had been a while since I lived here so I may have indeed been down these streets and just couldn't remember.

They were derelict, not much was down here and I was getting nervous. A place to get a good cup of tea around here? I didn't know how that could be possible.

"Here we are," she smiled lightly, stopped in front of a very tiny store. She couldn't possibly be...?

"I don't get it."

She stifled a laugh. "The owners of the store are... friends, of mine. Yoruichi-san owes me a cup of tea." She took my hand again and dragged me inside. The store was small... and seemed to sell nothing of one thing in particular. And the things that they did have stocked... I had no clue what any of it was.

I was increasingly worried now.

The back door slid open before she could yell for anyone. "Rangiku-san, it's good to see you. You should have phoned ahead though, especially if you were bringing a guest."

Rangiku let out an annoyed sigh and dragged me past the man. "I'm not here to see you, Urahara-san."

I didn't get a good look at him, Rangiku dragged me off before I could. The inside of the store was surprisingly spacious in the living area; I felt almost deceived. She pulled me to a small room, slid the door open and her face lit up. "You have rice cakes and sake!"

It would figure she would be an alcoholic.

Two people sat at at the round table in the middle of the room. One was a woman, busty- but not like Rangiku, she had dark skin, was slender and I could see she was quite tall. Her dark purple h air was pulled back into a ponytail and she had a few crumbs on her cheeks. A bottle of sake was in her hand, and she was grinning at the blonde opposite.

"Yoruichi...!" He ground out.

"Oh Shinji, we have guests, see!" Her eyes flashed as she stared at me, then at Rangiku. Apparently I was not a welcome guest, but Rangiku ushered me to sit down anyway. She pushed me in between the two on one side, and took a seat on the opposite side. "Eh, Rangiku-san... what brings you here?" She held the sake away from the woman and drank from the bottle. Rangiku pouted.

Shinji was staring at me, in the very same way Toshirou often did. Confused, hostile, curious and then somewhat sad. I shifted uncomfortably. I did not like this attention, and I wished I had stayed back at Inoues. I longed to be back in the dark room, to go back to my sleepless, numb state.

I paid little attention to any conversation that was had, none of it was directed at me- sometimes Yoruichi would ask if I wanted another drink. I would accept out of politeness.

And so I did not notice when the room went silent.

I felt eyes on me and looked up to meet them. Shinji looked away instantly and I went back to staring at the table like it held the meaning to life or something on it.

_How strange, her reishi is quite high... but she can't even see spirits?_

"Did you say something?" I frowned; did he call me strange? Was that it?

Shinji stared at me dumbly. "No, I said nothing." He bit down on a rice cake and shrugged. "Maybe you're going insane." He laughed.

I sighed and looked away. His laughter stopped and Rangiku let out a long sigh.

"We should probably head back. Toshirou might have gone back there..."

Yoruichi blinked in surprise. "He's missing? He knows better than that..."

Rangiku shrugged and they shifted awkwardly. They wanted to have a conversation that I was not supposed to hear. Apparently Shinji felt this too and stood up. "Shiori-chan, why don't we go and wait out in the store for the-" he stopped short when I stood up and left the room.

I heard a mutter, followed by the two women's laughter but it dulled out when I entered back into the store. 'Urahara' was still there, and he stared at me curiously. He hummed to himself as he continued to watch me- evaluating me almost. I felt ready to snap at him; I was going to go insane in this place.

Rangiku entered before I could ask him to cut out that infernal racket, but I grumbled, finding Rangiku seemed to be humming the same thing. It was more like a low buzzing though, more of a 'boom' or something... It hurt my head. "Rangiku-san." Her head snapped to me as I spoke. "I'm going to head home.. I have an awful headache."

Rangiku smiled. "Inoues home or your home?"

I shook my head and sighed. "I don't know." They'd phoned Doctor Kurosaki and had him and the others sort out... my mother, but I did not want to return. "I'll take a walk and decide."

I let the store before she could say much else.

It was raining outside again. I had no coat, and my clothes were quite thin. I sighed softly, shaking my head and started walking. I did not know where I would stop, or if I even would. Maybe I could walk off the edge of the Earth, perhaps I could walk off a bridge or in front of a bus.

I gulped at the thoughts, shook my head and headed off in the opposite direction to what we had come.

The purring, low buzzing sound seem to have disappeared now. Every now and then it would come back- like a radio trying to find a station and then failing and then being switched off. Sometimes I could make out actual words, most of the time I couldn't.

I was walking for five minutes before I noticed the black cat following along side me; on top of a wall. It was curious... like I knew it, but couldn't place my finger. No one I knew owned a cat... I shrugged and ignored it.

Perhaps it was a bad omen.

The rain did not let up as I walked, if anything it became increasingly worse. I was soaked through by the time I had doubled back on myself. I stood in front of the store again and had decided to go back to Inoues.

The cat still followed me. There was something... odd about it. Something odd about the whole thing- the cat was creeping me out, and the hair on the back of my neck had been standing on end for a while. I wanted nothing more than to be back with Rangiku- she made me feel safe, like nothing could get at me while she was there. It was silly really.

A piercing cry echoed through the air and I gasped, turning back to find the source of it. The cat that was following me hissed and then shot off. I could find no source of any cry, and I wondered if I imagined it. It wouldn't' surprise me if I had.

_She sure smells tasty._

I shuddered, glancing around for the origin of the voice but-

"Shiori-chan!"

Yoruichi's voice made me jump five foot into the air, and her arm wrapped around my shoulders. She steered me down a street and I heard protests- I was unsure of where they were coming from.

"Y-Yoruichi-san... I didn't see you come out of the store."

She coughed.

_I wonder what she sees... what she's noticed. _

I opened my mouth to question, but she had not asked it. Who had? I shook my head.

"How is your headache?"

"It's... worse." It wasn't a lie, it was worse.

"You'll get a cold walking around like this." Her jacket was over my shoulders before I could say much else. I didn't care if I got a cold. "Did you really plan to go back to Inoues place?"

"I'm not sure... I don't know what I'm supposed to do."

She sighed, it came out almost like a purr. "Do you want another cup of tea?"

I cringed. "I think I had enough for a month."

She chuckled.

We walked in silence after that. Her glances at me were more subtle than the boys, but it was still there. The curiosity held most in hers. "My head really hurts," I whispered. I pulled away from her grip, and sat down on a bench. It was wet and uncomfortable but I didn't feel like I could walk much further.

Yoruichi looked nervous. She let out a sigh and sat beside me. "Shiori-chan, what I'm about to tell you is true." Her eyes stared at me intently, and I had to look away. I hid under my fringe. She didn't seem amused, just serious. "It will sound a little crazy, but if you don't believe me.. well..."

"Well...?"

The cry echoed in the air again, and I could have sworn the ground shook. "W-well?"

Yoruichi sighed. "That noise is a hollow."


	6. Almost Easy

**Chapter 5**

Yoruichi's voice and her rushed explanation made very little sense to me. I did not believe a word of anything she said. Spirits? Hollows? Soul society and... Shinigami? It wasn't real, there was no way anything like that was... When you died, that was it.

The rain poured harder.

"Shiori?"

I stared at Yoruichi, eyes narrowing. This wasn't right, nothing she said made sense and the blow purring buzz had come back. I muttered, rubbing my forehead. She was staring at me again, but expectantly.

I shook my head and stood up. "You're lying... none of that is real..." I tried to think of why they would lie about this. "It's some kind of pity for my mother... you all decided to say this," I shook my head. It made sense. If my mother was a spirit now, if I could see her again I wouldn't feel so sad.

I took a few steps back and she growled lightly.

"Shiori we're not lying."

As if on cue, the screaming... the cry in the air whistled past, followed by the ground shaking. This time I could vaguely make out a silhouette of a shape coming closer, the road bowing under it's feet. It was a trick!

Toshirou was there, dressed in black with a white haori on top. There was a large sword strapped to his back. He ran a head a few steps, stopped and doubled back- jumping into the air. He withdrew his sword and swung it down; the cry echoed again, and he was suddenly thrown back.

Yoruichi swore and rushed off to him.

This was not real, I was going insane. The voices, and now this? It was the only explanation. I gulped, taking a few steps back before turning and running away. I stumbled a little, as was expected of me, but I didn't fall and I didn't stop running. Well.. I couldn't go home now- Inoue's home OR my home. They would look both places for me... going to Inoue's would probably be walking straight into them.

And so I ran. I had nowhere to go though I also had no intention of stopping. I had no money, no change of clothes and no food. I wouldn't last too long on my own, but it was worth a shot. The rain was not letting up, if I even managed to find somewhere safe... I would probably have a cold.

The cries in the air did not let up, and there seemed to be more now. I was going crazy, imagining all this. I could see them now too; big dark beasts... masked. Some of them seemed to say some things, but mostly the dull buzzing sound and their aching cries were all I could hear.

Too busy looking back, I did not notice when I ran into something. It was soft and warm, but I recognised and scent and recognised how the arms that wrapped around me felt.

"Shiori-chan, I've been looking for you!"

I pulled back from Rangiku, staring at her wide eyed. She wore the same black outfit as Toshirou, a pink sash around her waist and an armband present too now. She also had a sword, much smaller than the others, on the back of her waist.

"Shiori-chan?"

I had no doubt running was useless, but I pushed past and carried on. The creatures from my mind stalked me more, and they kept increasing in number. A few times I stumbled and they almost attacked me but I managed to move. It almost seemed as if they weren't trying so much... but if they were creatures from my mind, of course they wouldn't harm me.

Renji was the next person I ran into. He shot past me, swinging his own weapon up through the mask of one of the beasts. It howled and vanished. I had frozen- Renji seemed a lot less gentle than Rangiku, he would probably drag me back. He stared at me confused- did he not understand why I was scared?

_Foolish girl_

My eyes widened.

_Her power is valuable to us, her running is making it impossible to do anything! Hitsugaya-Taichou will be annoyed if we don't get her back soon_

I couldn't be sure what I was hearing- it sounded to me like a plot to... get me. My power was valuable to them?

Renji approached me, hands in the air lightly- he seemed scared I might attack him or bolt off. And for good measure too! Why would I willingly stand there if someone who wanted to.. use me for something was walking to me?

"Shiori, listen, we're not going to hurt you."

_Not if you cooperate._

"I'm not going to cooperate with you! If you want me.. y.. you..." his face was confused, and I took the chance and ran again. I did not know what power they were talking about. I wasn't even sure what I was hearing. Maybe I was going insane, my mind playing tricks of me.

Maybe it was paranoia and I was subbing their words with my own.

I panted; the hollows, or whatever they were, didn't seem to have followed me so far. I slowed to a walk, trying to catch my breath as I thought about everything. There was no one around who I knew- they hadn't followed me.

Five minutes more I walked for; I managed to get a coffee with a small bit of change I had in my pocket. It sent warmth through my body, but it did little to wake me up. I was tired, cold, wet and confused. I didn't even know where I was.

A chuckle, and there was suddenly someone stood in front of me.

I tensed up, ready to run but I did not recognise the voice. I stared at the stranger; his face was soft and kind, his eyes warm. His voice was deep and soothing, and I shuddered. It penetrated me and made my body warm.

His hair was pushed back, a light brown colour and his eyes were the darkest brown. He was tall, even by my standards and he was dressed in full white. "Shiori-kun."

I tensed; how did he know my name?

He let out an amused chuckle. "I mean you no harm, I only wish to help."

_Poor child is scared stiff, not surprised, with those soul society shinigami chasing after her._

My eyes went wide. "I-I..."

"I am Aizen Sosuke," he offered his hand. "I can help you; if you don't... the shinigami from soul society will continue to chase you down. They want your power. I can protect you from them."

"M-my power?" I did not have a power, this was all part of my imagination. It had to be!

"I've been... keeping tabs on you. It seems you have the ability to read peoples minds. It's restricted, I believe, but I can't be too sure." He paused. "I can help you control it, but you have to trust me; let me help you."

I put my coffee cup down and stood up. "Y-you're lying... there's no such thing as powers and spirits... certainly no such thing as Shinigami and soul society!"

I did not wait for him to reply; instead I turned and ran again. This whole thing was a lie; perhaps I would wake up. Spirits did not exist, and I did not have any special powers. I was exceedingly ordinary and blended in quite well; I liked it like that.

My subconscious would not plot up some kind of plan to make me extraordinary. Was there some truth in his words? There was the fact I heard things when no one said them.

I gulped and slowed to a walk as I came out on a street with a few other people. The low, buzzing purr was back. It was more like white noise now and it hurt. I covered my ears in a desperate attempt to shut it out, but I could still hear it.

A couple that passed by me gave me a strange look, I gulped, stuttered and carried on running. This was insane, I could **not** hear peoples thoughts!

_Look at her, running scared; it's useless, surely she knows that_

I tensed up as Toshirou and Rangiku appeared in front of me. They both looked angry- Toshirou more so than ever.

"We told you not to run!" Rangiku was annoyed and she flicked some of her hair back over her shoulder and rested one hand on her sword.

Toshirou copied her. "Matsumoto, leave her to me."

The hollows cried out again and they both turned to face them.

_How inconvenient. We don't have time for hollows!_

Rangiku let out an annoyed sigh.

_Now Aizen is involved we have to kill her! If she takes his protection..._

A lump grew in my throat and I took a few steps back. Kind, sweet, short tempered Rangiku wanted to kill me. Perhaps I should have taken the protection; it was too late now, I would die here. I was sure of that.

Did they really want my supposed power that bad? I could see why it would be an advantage, but why? Aizen had said something about 'soul society Shinigami', did that mean there were other kinds? Maybe he was one of the others , one of the good shinigami!

If only I knew how to find him... if only he would find me.

A deep chuckle echoed through and I found myself staring at the back of someone. I didn't know whether to be happy or not to see him; I had no guarantee that he didn't want to use my power, but every thought of his I could find- I was not sure entirely how it worked so I probably missed a lot- all his thoughts were about saving me, protecting me from the others.

I did not notice any fight or exchange, when I paid attention next; I was sat down against a wall and Aizen was leaning over me.

"Shiori-kun?" his smile was kind, and his voice soft. "They'll be back soon."

I gulped. "N-no!"

He offered his hand out. "I won't hurt you, Shiori-kun." he smiled lightly. "I can help you; teach you how to control your power... I can make you strong so you won't need me to protect you."

There was something else to his words and I hesitated. Rangiku had been so warm and kind before, why was she suddenly chasing me? Maybe that was their plan, gain my trust and then...

I gulped and took his hand slowly. "O-okay..."

The hollows cries died out instantly. "The hollows are on my side," he said slowly. "They're spirits the shinigami did not help move on. They can be quite civil, and once they're taught how to control themselves and feed of other things besides reishi."

I gulped; Yoruichi had said that they were evil creatures, shinigami purified them and sent them on to the afterlife.

"Shinigami, the ones from soul society any way, kill them. Their souls aren't purified, they're destroyed completely." I gulped. "So it's no wonder hollows attack them, it's merely self defence." He smiled kindly. "Myself and two other shinigami defected from soul society; we live in the hollows plane, Hueco mundo. The hollows there won't attack you," he chuckled darkly. "But I wouldn't provoke them."

I wondered why he was telling me this. I gulped and nodded. I still wasn't sure if I believed any of this, the fact we were now stood in a huge throne room of some kind- a change from that backstreet, did not help that thought. It was a dream!

There were numerous seats around; the room was white and lined with 12 other... people. They were all dressed in white and each of them seemed to have a completely different personality.

The male with blue hair scoffed, folded his arms and slumped in his seat. They all looked quite cold and intimidating- the two who sat beside the... 'throne' I took to be the other shinigami Aizen had spoken about. The others were perhaps... 'hollows'? They looked nothing like the others I had encountered that day. There was only one woman, she had bright green hair and she seemed uninterested- in the others in the room anyway. She was staring at me intently and sadly. One of the other males, one with dark hair, was glaring at her quite intently, then his gaze turned to me and his expression turned greedy.

I shuddered, and he chuckled.

Aizen chuckled and walked ahead, taking his seat; his throne. His face was not warm any more, it was cold and I shuddered at his gaze. "Welcome to Las Noches... Shiori-kun."


	7. A Reason to

**Chapter 6**

Las Noches was extremely white. The place could have been a hospital, I didn't think it was sterile but... it was very white indeed. As were the residents of the fortress. There wasn't much else to describe it- castle... Palace...

I had wondered, standing in that room with all eyes fixed on me, if I had not made a mistake. I was suddenly centre of attention again when I did not want to me; and I did not like that. They were all interested in me- some barely showed it, and others seemed interested for other reasons... But mostly everyone wanted something to do with me.

I was quite thankful that Aizen seemed hesitant to leave me alone where the others could get to me; I was certain they would jump me... but I wasn't sure if his constant attentions were very good either. Some of the female 'hollows' did not like this, I learnt that quickly at dinner on my second night here.

Aizen had left me alone for a few moments to go to the bathroom and...

My arm was bandaged up well and still recovering; I did not tell him who did it, and he in turn seemed quite annoyed.

I learnt that the people in the room on the day I had arrived were known as the 'Espadas'. The... elite of the lot of them, really. Aizen was head, and the two other shinigami- Ichimaru Gin and Kaname Tousen were... somewhat his second in command; Gin more so than Tousen.

Gin was a curious man. He never seemed firmly sure on what he should be doing, and always seemed if he wanted to talk to me. Apart from the passing greeting and question, he never did talk to me. Something told me he perhaps was not to be trusted, I told myself to stay away from him.

Aizen told me it was best to stay away from him too.

The Espada were strange... creatures. Most of them kept to themselves; Ulquiorra was one of these. Aizen often left me in his care on the rare occasion he had to leave me alone. The only Espada above him did not wish to bother with me, and he seemed most loyal to his... master.

Nnoitra on the other hand scared me stiff. I tried to minimise any time I spent with him- fortunately I was never alone with him- but even with someone else there... His expression would turn greedy whenever he peered at me, it made me wonder why he was so interested in me.

The only one I had not formally met was the 'tres' Espada. The female of the bunch who had given me the stare that was almost full of pity on the first day. Aizen told me it was nothing to worry about; Neliel was just like that.

It felt like there was something he never told me. He didn't tell me much really- he told me stuff about soul society and how many shinigami they had in their 'army'. He explained briefly about Zanpakutos... shunpo and Kidou.

It was a lot to take in, and he frequently reminded me that I had a far better power than a lot of them. I could read their minds.

Only it didn't seem to work very well. I couldn't hear people a lot of the time, though the dull buzzing had gone. He said I would get better the more I practised, and we spent a lot of the day trying to fine tune it. I never seemed to get anywhere and I had no idea how to control it; he had no clue either.

That was the other thing about this place too; I could never tell when it was night or day. Apparently outside of Las Noches it was constantly dark, but within it- and the small dome that formed around it, it was as light as day.

I sighed lightly.

Today was one of the days Aizen decided we would not work on my own ability, but instead he was trying to teach me their ways. Even if my ability was better, I would still need to be able to protect myself.

He didn't like my nonsense of not liking violence. He seemed almost too gentle to enjoy it much either, but the first training session he'd shown me wrong. I had ended up quite injured, just from a simple...

Well I couldn't really remember what it was, but it was enough for me to know I never wanted to have him annoyed at me. His patience with me only seemed to have a certain limit, but we would stop just before they broke.

I hadn't learnt anything since we'd begun; I knew it annoyed him, and it annoyed me too.

"This isn't working."

I snapped up to look at him; I was bleeding in a few places, and my arm was probably re-broken. The pain was so frequent these days I barely noticed it. It was hard to believe this was the better option- the other had been death. I wondered if that would have been kinder though.

"You don't even have the desire to get stronger."

His mind was silent to me as I probed at it, trying to get at what he was thinking. He told me he could sense when I was doing it- and he smirked lightly at me. "You still need to work on that too... at least you seem more willing with that."

"I don't like fighting."

He let out an annoyed sigh and pulled me to my feet quite roughly. "If you don't learn at least how to protect yourself I won't ever be able to leave you on your own here." He sighed; I really didn't like fighting, I had no desire to learn how... "They will inflict a great deal of pain upon you, Shiori-kun."

"But they won't kill me."

"But you'll be wishing they had." His curt answer was cold and icy and I shuddered. His response was a smirk, and he went back to thinking.

I wondered why he was even bothering with teaching me this. He could have someone else do it; he was almost possessive of me. He was reluctant to leave me with Ulquiorra; it felt kind of suffocating really.

"Didn't you say Toshirou had disappeared soon after you went to Inoue Orihime's?"

I wondered what any use this question had, but his thoughts let nothing up. "I didn't see him again until the day after."

He nodded. "Well..." he trailed off. "I have some manner of research to attend to. I suppose I can leave you alone."

I felt alarmed, but he was gone before I could protest. He had finally given in trying to teach me anything I guessed; he was going to throw me to the dogs. Most of them would leave me be- they were probably too scared of his wrath if they permanently damaged me... Nnoitra and perhaps Grimmjow I was not so sure about.

I gulped and slowly peered out of the door. I had no clue where I even was, how to get to a bathroom or how to even get to my own room. The thing was tiny, and as white as the rest of the place. It was warm, and the only reason I classed it as safe was because it was in that man's own personal quarters of the fortress. No one else was permitted in.

Now it only I could find my way back.

There seemed to be no one around, so I took a brave step out. Maybe he would send Ulquiorra down to escort me to my room... but as I walked it became apparent I really was on my own now. I wasn't very smart or strong anyway and I doubted I'd be very good at anything he tried to teach me had I wanted to learn.

"Well if it isn't the little Pet-kun."

I didn't need to turn to know who that was; the voice was distinct, as was the little nickname he'd gotten for me. He snickered when I froze as he approached. "At least you're quiet." He picked up a bit of my hair between two of his fingers. "And you're terrified too, shaking a little, hmm..." he dropped my hair and mused to himself for a few moments.

I thought perhaps he might leave me be, he'd gone silent and he was staring at me curiously.

"You can't hear my thoughts at all, can you?" he laughed loudly. "Such a waste of space, honestly." He sighed lightly; he always carried his zanpakuto around on his shoulder; it was kind of terrifying really. He chuckled, his hand coming down on my head with a good amount of force. "He's put a lot of his reiatsu into you," he murmured, mostly to himself. "Like he's warning other people off," he cackled. "I guess he shouldn't leave you alone!"

His hand loosened up on my head, before he suddenly grabbed a handful of my hair. He tugged on it hard and brought me to my knees. A small gasp escaped from my lips and I clenched my eyes. Compared to the injuries I'd had, he didn't really hurt that much. Nnoitra seemed to sense this, and his foot hooked into my gut and I flew back before I could even register anything.

I gasped, letting out a weak cry as I hit back against a wall. He wouldn't kill me- they were all terrified of Aizen; perhaps this was what he'd meant when he said I'd rather wish they would kill me?

Nnoitra stalked upon me, a smirk look upon his lips. "Silly Pet-kun, walking around all by yoursel-"

"Nnoitra!"

He let out a very annoyed grunt, and looked to where the high pitched voice had come from. "Oh, Neliel..." I thought for a moment he was going to leave me be, but his foot suddenly slammed down onto my gut, and he let out a happy sigh at my light whimper. "She's more of a waste of space than you! Less infuriating, that's true..." His eyes narrowed.

"Why is that? Because she's not screaming in pain and asking you for forgiveness?" Nel's voice was cold. I'd only heard her speak a few times, but it had always been warm and bubbly. She let out a sigh and walked over- pausing when Nnoitra's foot dug into my stomach more.

"Aizen shouldn't have left her alone and unattended!"

"He didn't," Nel sighed, her hand coming out and pulling his foot from me. I went to pull myself up, but she hauled me into her arms and stood up- almost all in the same moment, and with an uneasy amount of grace. "Aizen-sama sent me to watch over her while he set about his research." She shot him a look.

Neliel was really quite beautiful close up. She was just as well endowed as Rangiku was- maybe more so, and most of the time she seemed to have the same care free personality. Her face was young, but there were subtle hints of age. The soft contours of her cheek bones and chin, even the mask on top of her head seemed just as much a part of her beauty; it fit with her flowing hair perfectly.

Nel was perhaps more intimidating than Rangiku to be around, and I looked away shyly.

"Doesn't Ulquiorra usually watch over her?"

"Yes."

Nnoitra let out an aggravated sound. He'd wanted more of an explanation than that, but she had started walking off. He didn't follow us, but I could hear his loud curse words as we left him.

"I-I..." I stuttered softly. Nel's arms were strong, secure and quite safe to be in. "T-thank you."

Nel smiled softly. "Perhaps it's not wise to walk around alone, hm?" She paused- perhaps to put me down, but she carried on walking anyway. "You can't hear my thoughts either."

I sighed; why did everyone have to continuously remind me of this? "I can't hear anyone's," I corrected.

Her smile turned warm. "If you were useless, Aizen-sama would not keep you around." She chuckled softly. "He values power, and he especially values yours; if he thought you were a lost cause he'd have..." she trailed off.

Maybe she could hear thoughts too?

"No," she almost giggled. "You just look very upset when I mentioned about my thoughts."

I hadn't thought I'd said it out loud. "I really am grateful.. thank you for saving me from him..."

Nel sighed. "Nnoitra is not the best person to aggravate, especially as a woman." She scrunched her nose up and went silent as she opened a door. She spoke again when we were through it- into another part of Las Noches I'd never been in. "Exceedingly so when you're as important as what you are. Nnoitra dislikes strong women, so it's probably a good thing you're... not." She smiled apologetically.

Something about her was a lot different to the other Espada- different to the other hollows in the whole place completely. She was almost gentle in a way, motherly and affectionate. She made me miss my own mother.

"Aizen-sama sent me to watch over you; he's going to be busy for a few days and he insisted you stay with me until then."

"But he usually leaves me with Ulquiorra..."

She chuckled. "I suppose he thinks it's inappropriate for you to share his bed," she grinned when I blushed lightly. "Don't worry, I have a second bed you can use," she chuckled. "Such a shy thing."

_Nnoitra and Aizen-sama have her half terrified of saying anything._

"Di-did you say something?"

Nel looked up at me from under the few tussles of hair which fell in front of her face. "No... I said nothing.

I nodded and went silent. I didn't hear anything else- I probably imagined it. "Is that the only reason...?"

Nel sighed. "I suppose he thinks I might rub off on you," she chuckled, setting me down on a sofa. Her room was at least ten times the size of the broom cupboard I slept in; her two fraccion were in there too- I did not know their names, though they greeted her very warmly when we arrived.

"I don't enjoy violence either."

I found it very hard to believe; Neliel tu Oderschvank, the tres Espada did not enjoy violence? She was so strong and confident.. affirmative and warm.

"I don't like violence, but I'll tell you; you definitely need to learn to protect yourself. Even if it's only a sonido to get away. If I wasn't around.. Nnoitra probably would have finished whatever it was he started. Being strong does not make you a violent monster. Nnoitra is a monster, if you exercise control- fight for a reason..." she smiled hugely. "I do not fight because I enjoy it; I fight because I have a reason to."

Nel was a very nice person to be around. I could understand the points she made, perhaps it was wise for me to start taking Aizen's lessons seriously- especially seeing as he was taking time to teach me himself.

Her fraccion, Pesche and Dondochakka were also pretty nice too. A little weird but ultimately nice. It was harder to fall asleep in her room; I was increasingly anxious since the room did not offer the same protection as my own but... Nnoitra was scared of her- and the Espada above her had no reason to bother with me.

I woke alone the following morning. There was an affectionate note from the Espada on the bed beside me- she'd gone out to do something of Aizen's bidding. I was anxious to be left alone, and so I jumped when I noticed the figure sat in a chair in the corner of the room.

Ulquiorra sighed with little emotion, just a bit of annoyance. "I've been waiting a good while for you to wake up."

His voice still shocked me every time he spoke; he was so unemotional and so unattached to everything. "Um..."

He stood up and offered his hand- or rather, demanded I took it. Apparently I was not getting breakfast, or even a change of clothes.

"Aizen-sama requests you join me in a trip to the human world, onna."


	8. Survival

**Chapter 7**

The human world looked different after being cooped up in the white palace for so long. It's vivid colours and smells jumped out at me, and the mass of sounds which attacked me overwhelmed me. There was a lot about this world that I had never noticed before. I hoped it was some kind of... sign that I had matured and grown wise... but really it was probably because, after staring at dull white constantly anything else was going to seem...

Ulquiorra let out a sigh and turned to me, holding out his hand. He held a simple bracelet, and hooked it around my wrist before I could protest. My confused stare he did not answer, and he simply put his hands in his pockets and turned back around.

I went to remove it, but he caught my hand before he could. "Onna..." his voice was lower than normal, quite threatening really. I shuddered. "I would leave that on."

"What does it do?"

He paused, probably contemplating and then dropped my hand. "It hides you... every trace of you, from the humans and the Shinigami. If you get too close they can notice you, but Aizen-sama has left traces of his Reishi on you."

I didn't really understand what he meant, and he sighed; he seemed a little annoyed... as far as Ulquiorra showed emotion anyway. "Even if they get close, as long as you don't use your reishi, they won't notice you."

"I don't know how to use it anyway..." And I didn't understand the point of my being here. I frowned lightly and shifted side to side. So I was invisible to everyone now? Like a spirit? Like him then.

Ulquiorra was quiet as we walked, he would occasionally stop and change direction. I wasn't sure if he was looking for something, or if he was wandering on the chance he would come across something. He seemed... distracted too. It bugged me- Ulquiorra was usually pretty focused and could concentrate well.

"What are we doing here anyway?"

He didn't reply, and he carried on leading me along. I sighed softly; he'd mentioned the shinigami... was he looking for them? Almost as if on queue, Ulquiorra disappeared and reappeared above me. I stared at him for a few moments, wondering what on earth he was doing, before I found myself blown back a little.

I felt his disapproved frown, and heard his mutter of 'onna'.

Shinji, Yoruichi and Urahara stood there, glaring at him quite profoundly. They were accompanied by a younger female, about my height, with blonde hair in pigtails. She scoffed and folded her arms.

"He looks like nothing."

I narrowed my eyes. She didn't look much like anything.

Ulquiorra was beside me next and sighed. It seemed like he was expecting something from me. What was I supposed to do? I had learnt nothing in the short time I'd been with them... I was just about getting the hang of manipulating my own.. 'reiatsu' or whatever it was! I couldn't do anything with it... I couldn't use sonido- I couldn't run very fast anyway, and I couldn't fight.

None of them moved to attack him, and he stayed quite calmly; eyes closed even. What was the purpose in coming here if he wasn't going to fight them? And if it was some sort of... eradication mission, there'd have been more than just him.

_I don't understand why he's here._

I blinked a few times, moving my head to stare at the four shinigami. They weren't whispering, they were just focused on him.

_If he's going to stand relaxed like that... I'll get his true purpose._

Yoruichi disappeared in a flash, and I gulped, tensing up.

Ulquiorra did not move, and I felt more anxious by the second. It didn't even seem like he was trying to search for her! I searched desperate for some form of her... scent, her feel but...

_Left!_

"Move to the right!"

Ulquiorra moved on my command, barely missing Yoruichi's swift kick. The wall behind was not so lucky and she went right through it. She seemed confused as she looked up; it hadn't been my imagination then, that Ulquiorra had not tried to search for her.

It had not been my imagination either, that I'd heard her on my own accord.

Was that the whole point in this? To try and get me to use my... power? Maybe it didn't turn it's self 'on' automatically, I had to delve into the persons mind. I had tried that though at Hueco mundo and it didn't work.

Why did it suddenly work?

Ulquiorra's relaxed pose was back, hand in his pockets and eyes closed.

Yoruichi's thoughts were silent, so I stared intently at the others. I tried, but didn't seem to be able to get much from them. They were silent to me- had it only been a brief thing? I sighed dejectedly. I was never going to be able to help.

Urahara moved slightly, adjusting his hat and he lifted his cane.

_Perhaps... Benihime..._

I could see it; clearly in his mind, what he intended to do and I shot forward- pushing Ulquiorra slightly.

The explosion almost deafened my ears; I had clenched my eyes so I didn't have to see the incoming impact, but no pain had come. Was it instantaneous? I blinked a few times, almost yelping when I found myself suddenly in the air. Ulquiorra's arm was wrapped around my waist as he held me under his arm, suspended in mid-air.

"Next time, onna, tell me to move." He sighed in annoyance; he had not sounded annoyed though... amused, almost. Confident maybe... arrogance? It was something on the happier side anyway.

"S-sorry..." I smiled sheepishly.

I seemed to be getting the hang of it; but I could only focus on one mind at a time, two seemed to be too much and would give me an awful headache; not to mention how tired it made me. I sighed softly, somewhat thankful about how it had turned out.

Hiyori had been restrained, by Shinji. The pair of them were both out of the fight- she'd attacked Ulquiorra and I'd managed to catch it just in time. Ulquiorra had attacked her back and she was badly injured. Despite that she was still standing, and seemed to want nothing more than to finish him off.

Urahara simply stayed back with no intention to attack and left Yoruichi to do the fighting.

The woman was easier to understand; all her attacks were physical and she had no zanpakuto and never really used kidou. I did not need to be able t keep up with her shunpo, I didn't even need to be able to see her.

I knew he didn't need my help to dodge any of this, and he probably could have defeated her easily like he had with the blonde, and returned to Las Noches by now. Between us though, Ulquiorra dodged every one of her attacks easily and had barely even opened his eyes.

Yoruichi panted hard, glaring quite profoundly at him. She was getting more annoyed by the second. Her fighting stance relaxed and she muttered a few words. I didn't even need to be skilled with reishi to be able to sense it- then again, there was a lot of it and it would have been hard for anyone to notice.

"Thing's get harder now." Ulquiorra still sounded amused, but his expression was impassive. His eyes remained closed and I turned back to find the dark skinned woman had disappeared.

"Left!" I stuttered. "N-no, right!" She'd changed her decision so quickly that he'd barely been able to dodge it.

Yoruichi swung her leg back around- Ulquiorra acted before I could tell him and he grabbed her leg in mid air before her kick could land. "I've seen enough," he murmured softly. He twisted her leg painfully- taking advantage of her sudden daze, and then let her fall to the floor.

He watched Urahara tend to her for a moment, before he turned and opened up the 'portal' back home.

He was quiet on the way home, and he left me in Nel's room before he left. He had no explanation for me about what any of that was about- if it had been some sort of 'training on the battlefield' then I was certain he wouldn't have stopped it just as Yoruichi... upped the ante so to speak.

Nel was still absent, even though I was sure a lot of time had passed. Pesche and Dondochakka were also missing. I went without dinner- I was far too scared to leave my room. My power worked before, but it had never worked on the hollows before now... I had no guarantee I'd be able to hear Nnoitra coming.

* * *

Nel was still missing when I woke up; there was no note, and her bed had been left the same way as it had been when I fell asleep. There seemed to be no time here- since the sky didn't change, and no one at all had a clock.

I wondered if Nel would mind if I took a bath- she was so kind, I couldn't see she would but...

I contemplated it for a few moments, before heading into the adjoined bathroom. My skin was somewhat bruised in places- I hadn't been fortunate enough to completely avoid everything yesterday, the aftershock of a lot of the attacks Ulquiorra blocked often hit me.

I couldn't be sure how long I spent soaking myself. My skin had just started to wrinkle, but my whole body felt so much better. I still felt so tired and sore but...

Aizen had told me the energy here was replenished with food. Perhaps that was why I was tired, because I hadn't eaten...

I returned into the bedroom with a towel wrapped around myself. I'd been changed out of my human clothes the same hour I'd been brought here. It had been some sort of white outfit that was pretty durable, yet soft and flexible at the same time.

Ulquiorra was sat in the same chair as yesterday, and my cheeks burned a bright crimson. "I-I..." Next time I would change in the bathroom, but now... I gulped lightly, trying my hardest to hide under my hair.

"Be thankful I didn't drag you out without anything covering you," he said simply as he stood up and approached me. I opened my mouth to ask him what he wanted- but we were suddenly in another room.

I hated how they did that. Not only did it surprise me, but it also reminded me with how much I still had to learn. I threw him an angry glare as he simply walked to his seat.

Aizen's deep chuckle echoed through the room- it was only then I was really aware that the rest of the Espada were also here. I gulped, wrapping the towel around me- would it really have been so much to let me change first?

"I'm sure there was no need to embarrass the poor thing, Ulquiorra. Or are you that impatient to show everyone what happened yesterday?"

I zoned out of the conversation, and focused on one seat in particular. Mostly to avoid noticing all the stares. Nel's seat was empty- Pesche and Dondochakka were not present either. I actually felt worried. There was a chance Aizen had sent her off elsewhere, but my stomach grew tense at the thought.

If Nel was gone, who was there to protect me from that lecherous-

I turned to face Nnoitra and glared a him. He looked smug and very happy with himself. He appeared to have a new, pink haired companion and he smirked hugely at me with his greedy expression when he noticed my stare.

"Ah, you've noticed Neliel's absence?"

The close proximity of Aizen's voice almost made me jump five foot in the air; his soft, firm hands taking my chin gently and turning me to face him, however, made me freeze up. His face was barely inches from mine, and he wore a strange expression.

Curiosity and hidden intelligence hid in his eyes, and a bemused frown sat on his lips. I could not tell if he was annoyed, angry or happy. I held the towel around myself closer and stuttered a little at him.

He chuckled again and released my chin. "Ulquiorra will show you to your new room," he smiled lightly- but I was positive he was hiding something behind it. "Our training sessions are... postponed." I stared at him confused. "Your usefulness yesterday was triggered by your ability to survive, you still have no want to fight." He sighed, seemingly annoyed now. "We will pick them up again when you actually wish to learn."

I tried to pick at his brain, but it was blank again. He chuckled, turned around and walked off.

Nnoitra's greedy little beady eyes stared at me as Ulquiorra approached me. As usual, most of the other Espada seemed indifferent- Grimmjow seemed to be glaring at me though, and he wore an expression of some child with a slapped backside.

The blue haired Espada smirked when I took a few steps back from his smirk and he laughed loudly. I didn't hear what he said.

So Aizen was leaving me to fend for myself- maybe he was hoping I would gain control over my abilities if I needed them to survive. His words didn't imply that exactly, but I couldn't see too many other meanings.

Maybe I could be lucky and stick to where Ulquiorra was- no one would attack me with him in the room. I hoped Nel would return soon... at least then I would be somewhat safe.


	9. Fight or Flight

**Chapter 8**

**Fight or Flight**

Nel had disappeared completely. All traces of her had gone- Pesche and Dondochakka had gone with her. No one knew what happened to her, though I had an idea Nnoitra and his pink haired friend had something to do with it. But, in this place... no one really cared if there was a dirty tactic involved. It was dog eat dog- if you couldn't survive, you were thrown aside and replaced.

My new room was about the size of a broom closet. It had a bed at least, but that was about it. I had to share a bathroom with the hollows and I felt paranoid about that fact. For the first few days, I tried to avoid eating or drinking anything so I didn't have to go. I rarely left my room.

It didn't help that Ulquiorra had taken it to avoid me; if I walked into the same room as him, he disappeared. I had a suspicion Aizen had something to do with that. I couldn't really guess what his motives were- if they were to control my power than wouldn't more situations like the one in the human world be more... substantial?

He had mentioned in passing my lack of will to want to fight, but all leaving me on my own did was make me want to run and hide. I did not like violence, especially when I was involved in it.

With Nel gone and Ulquiorra avoiding me, the place seemed much bigger and darker. I found myself reaching out every time I ventured from my room- looking for Reiatsu coming towards me, or trying to listen into minds of people near me.

Neither ever worked; the first day on my own I had walked into a rather shy and stuttering Arrancar. I was fortunate she was quite docile- I was positive, had it been any other one...

Well, I was in one piece for the moment, but I wasn't sure how much longer my game of cat and mouse was going to work. I was getting tired from the lack of food, if I was going to be able to have a chance at sensing any danger coming towards me, I was going to have to eat at some point.

A few times I caught myself wondering if this really was the preferable option to staying in the human world. It was lonely here- and I was at risk of getting quite badly hurt whenever I left my room. If I was in the human world at least the Shinigami may have killed me instantly.

There was no chance of them actually killing me here... Probably beat me around until I was within an inch of my life, but I would survive. They would make sure of that.

My stomach roared loudly and I sighed, staring idly at the ceiling in my room. There was no time here, but I seemed to have... tuned into the flow of things. It was some point between breakfast and lunch time, when the majority of the lower ranking hollows were often training. The Espada, at this point, were usually lounging around in their quarters.

If I was going to eat; this was the time I was going to have to do it.

It took most of my courage- which really wasn't all that much- to stand up and leave my room. I stood frozen in the hall way for a long amount of time, before I took a few steps towards where I could find food.

Some part of me hoped I would turn a corner and Nel would be there, acting as though she'd had no absence. But she was gone completely and she wasn't going to come back- I needed to get my head around that.

My stomach curled up within itself over and over as I wandered the corridors. It was almost all too easy- I hadn't walked into a single person, and I hadn't even been close to having to hide from anyone.

It was almost like the place was deserted and I wondered if that was really good. At least if there was some noise or hint of reishi moving around, I could get the idea of where everyone else was.

But everything felt dead.

I gulped, summing up the rest of my courage as I pushed the door open to the large hall where most of the low ranking hollow's ate. I wouldn't have to worry about most of them- they might say things, but I had overall learnt they were more scared to do anything. Being low ranking, and not very strong, they had no real uses and if they ended up causing permanent damage to me...

Aizen would probably finish them off.

The Espada, and their fraccion however, I was cautious of. They could most likely kill me within a second and no fear held them back. Aizen had seemed quite annoyed about having to replace Nel- if a little amused at the same time- and he seemed to show more restraint with them.

As long as they did not kill me, and as long as any permanent damage they caused wouldn't hinder my power... he would probably overlook it.

For that reason alone, I was always cautious of the company around me if I had for any reason, left my small room.

The room was silent, I could almost hear my heart beating it's self, and I gulped. I walked slowly at first- though using large strides to keep my pace even, and I kept my foot steps light and silent.

Slowly, I walked faster. My stomach roared at me, and I gulped lightly- the sound of my footsteps chasing me up the hall and-

"Running away from your own shadow?"

His voice was loud, and he followed his comment with a loud laugh. I froze in the spot, and I heard amusement.

I had expected Nnoitra at least, not...

"I wondered how long it would be before you got hungry and had to leave," Grimmjow mused. He held some sort of purple fruit in his hand, no intention of eating it, but he stared at it intently.

He was sat to the side of the room, chin resting idly on his hand- the fruit in his other as he tossed it up and down. He wore a bored expression, but amusement and playfulness flickered in his eyes.

His lips turned up into a greedy grin, and I shuddered away; wishing quite dearly I was not the mouse in this game. Grimmjow indeed, seemed rather gleeful. Like a cat, who'd finally cornered the bird he'd been chasing for weeks- the annoying bird, that sat on the branch just out of his reach, singing a little song... annoying him, teasing him.

Grimmjow appeared right in front of me before I could say anything, and I jumped back a little. His laugh echoed in the room again, and he stared at me intently. His eyes focused on me as I took a few steps back.

His hand shot out and grabbed my wrist before I could get away too far, and he let out a bored sigh. "Please don't run and make this hard."

It sounded more like he did want me to run- like it would just make the game more amusing. Or maybe because if I ran from him, it'd give him a... reason for doing whatever it was he was planning.

His eyes were less playful now, as if he'd only really intended to come and scare me- but now had other ideas. His expression turned contemplative for a few moments, and then malice set in his eyes.

I was positive, he had no intention of just playing any more and I tried my hardest to wretch my wrist from his grip.

Grimmjow laughed loudly at my feeble attempt. "Honestly, so worthless... useless perhaps," he sighed, frowning. "I can't figure it out- even if you do have that ability, to read others minds... why he would keep you here?" He yanked my wrist and pulled me closer to him.

If it were a situation where I was not worried for my life, I would have likely blushed and been quite shy at how close we were. I felt alarmed, terrified. I was sure Aizen hadn't set rules on whether 'that' was allowed.

He scoffed, as if reading my mind himself. "I have more self respect than that, onna," he drawled the words with a slight purr to them. I shuddered and tried to back away. "There must be something else to you... something important," he sighed. "Your power can't be too important- he hadn't factored it in before..." He seemed rather to be thinking out loud, than really speaking to me. "You can't even use it properly, and you're weak and have no clue about anything!" he sighed, shaking his head; he sounded more frustrated now, and I felt increasingly scared.

"There is something about you... why hasn't he killed you yet? Anyone else and he would have done, so why not you, eh?"

He squeezed my wrist when I did not answer. "Feh, you don't even know anything! I'd be surprised if you could even feel the reiatsu in this place."

I stared down at the floor, biting my lip. I could be a crybaby- I usually was, but no matter what was coming... I wasn't going to cry. Not in front of him anyway.

"Pathetic, honestly!"

He lifted me up by my wrist with no effort, and his grip increased. Aside from him and I, the hall was empty; and the pop of my wrist coming out of place echoed well- as did the following scream which parted from my lips.

Grimmjow was amused.

"So fragile!"

He lightly tugged me up so I was eye level with him, and he stared at me confused. Maybe he thought I was hiding something from him, but... but...! I didn't know anything- I couldn't' do anything and...

I hate violence, but right then I felt an overwhelming urge to protect myself. To make sure I would come out with as little injuries as possible- if I had the strength to at least break out of his grip... the strength to at least run away from him.

I struggled in his hold, and he laughed once more.

He threw me this time, through one of the glass windows to the side. It shattered on impact with me, and more than a few bits of the jagged material lodged it's self into my back when I landed on the ledge outside.

I felt overwhelmed at the stench of the blood- my blood, and quite ill too. The light-headedness, from how far he'd thrown me, the impact and the loss of blood surely didn't help with that either.

If I could just... out run him. If I had the strength, the ability to protect myself a little! I wanted to survive!

Grimmjow chuckled more as he walked out, quiet casually, until he stood above me. "Perhaps that was overdoing it a little..." he sighed, picking me up by the front of my jacket and lifting me up.

I could feel more blood when he did so- a few pieces of glass fell out of my back, opening the wounds. I hadn't realised how bad it was- until I saw the fear on his expression.

He didn't seem panicked, but he had frozen. He was deciding something, I was sure of that.

But I didn't feel scared- more angry than anything. I wanted nothing more than to punch him in the face a few times. I wasn't in pain, that was true, but my whole body was numb. Either from the adrenaline, or I'd lost so much blood that now my mind couldn't focus on anything.

"Asshole," I growled out, spitting into his face.

Grimmjow snapped back into reality to glare at me; he backhanded me, growling. "You should be begging for your life!"

I just glared at him, not wincing when he hit me again. So he intended to let me die- if he left me here, there was a chance someone else could find me. I was positive I wouldn't be able to support myself if I tried to get up.

Things were slowly going out of focus, and so the only way I realised we were moving, was when I felt the slight rocking as he held the scuff of my jacket.

"Stupid onna."

The sudden... euphoric feeling as I fell. He'd dropped me off the ledge and, to my surprise, I didn't feel scared. I couldn't survive a fall like that; I couldn't even land on my feet! I had no energy to scream... but I didn't want to.

So I would die- I hoped that Aizen would at least humiliate him- as some sort of revenge... but I wondered if he would even bat an eyelid. Probably not. Perhaps he'd left me alone, figuring I would die... so he would not have to do it on his own.

I wish I could have at least gotten one good punch back to him... at least put up some sort of fight.

I closed my eyes and braced myself to hit the ground. I probably wouldn't feel it- I was barely able to feel blood running over most of my skin. If the impact didn't' kill me, it might end up wedging the glass into me more and...

Warm arms caught me and landed safely on the ground about a foot down. I wondered if Grimmjow had changed his mind out of fear of Aizen, or if his intention had only been to scare me to teach me... 'respect' or something.

My vision was blurred, but I expected I'd still be able to see the bright blue of his hair. Grimmjow wasn't stupid enough to let me die, was he?

Green eyes stared down at me- no confusion, no sadness, no softness.. no warmth... Emotionless, green eyes was then perhaps the right term; stared down at me. Ulquiorra's mouth was set down in a frown, but he was probably more annoyed about being covered in my blood.

I could see traces of red on his white outfit- and I wondered how soiled in blood my own usually white clothes were. I was unable to find my voice and ask him what happened, what was going on.

Ulquiorra stared up from where I'd been dropped, but I couldn't move to see in that position- nor could I probably even make out anything that far away.

_Aizen-sama is not going to be pleased._

Before I could even react to hearing his thoughts- without even trying, and without being in any danger, his hand covered my eyes and darkness took over my vision. I wondered, briefly before my thoughts disappeared, if I would wake up again. If I would wake up in one piece- when would I wake up, would I wake up here? And... would I be 'human', or a spirit... or like them when I did?

"Rest, Onna."

Ulquiorra's words stopped my minds train instantly, and I allowed myself to relax and fall under his heavy influence. His words sounded warm and concerned... For Ulquiorra anyway.


	10. Obsession

**Chapter 9**

Hospitals were my least favourite place. The only reasons you go there are because you're in a great deal of pain, someone you know is in a great deal of pain, or your about to be in a great deal of pain. And they're so clean too- I wonder if that does more harm than good really... Plus the sterile smell.

My sense of smell came back to me first, although I wished it hadn't. The air was thick with some sort of antibacterial sterile smell, and the thick, rusty smell of blood. It almost clogged my nose, and I spluttered and coughed for a few moments.

My hearing was next. I couldn't make out much, slight clicking noises- the clicking slowed every now and then and turned into a whirring. I could hear footsteps, and light breathing. The rustle of clothes as someone leaned over me...

I wondered, if at first, I was still in Las Noches. I didn't remember there really being a hospital- hollows could regenerate themselves so it was really unneeded.

If I wasn't there... where was I?

There were a few options. One, Aizen had returned me to my human body and I was in a human hospital. I didn't think that was possible- there was no beeping of the heart monitor, and no other sounds of patients. No other nothing really...

Two, I was in soul society. Perhaps I had 'died' and my soul had gone there, not in a very good way and I needed healing. I didn't think that was that possible either. Shinigami couldn't heal quite like hollows, and there were a lot of shinigami too; so it would only make sense for a hospital there to be... busy.

The third option, was that I was somewhere else completely. I had died, and I was in some sort of crazy limbo while they, whoever they were, healed my 'soul' up to go to the afterlife.

That made sense, perhaps slightly more feasible than the previous options but... Still ultimately unbelievable. The only way to know for sure was to open my eyes, and I wasn't positive I wanted to do that.

I suppose I had nothing to lose. I already went through hell, whether I had made it out of the other end or not...

I gulped, and my throat burned. It was parched and quite dry, and weak from not being used. I wondered how long I had been 'asleep'. I took a few deep breaths- my throat just burned more and more each time, but my lungs sure enjoyed being used.

The room I was in was not particularly bright, nor was it very dark. It was white, and I seemed to be on a bed in the middle of an otherwise empty room. There was a machine beside me that I seemed to be hooked up on, and a single seat beside the bed.

There were windows on either side of the room, completely covering the walls. There was no need for lights or shutters. The windows on one side of the room let in the brilliant light from the glorious sunshine outside, the opposite windows let in the darkness from outside too. Really it was quite beautiful, if a little confusing too.

It felt like some sort of miracle I was alive.

I replayed the last series of events I remembered- Grimmjow, the window... then Ulquiorra. Vaguely after that I heard voices, some shouting... I couldn't really focus on any of that and I sighed softly. I hoped for some key about what happened after that but...

Was Grimmjow still alive? In one piece? I felt angry at the thought he may be walking around, quite smug and happy with himself. What I'd give to be able to wipe that smirk off his face and-

"P-please don't get riled up!"

I almost jumped at the sudden, quite timid voice. Pain shot through my body when I moved, so I decided it was best to try and be still. I wanted to raise my head up and see who had spoken to me, but... well...

Apparently sensing my need, the small hollow came closer. She was cute; short blue hair, wild pink eyes... pale, with a few freckles lining her nose. She was short like me, but she was quite curvy. She pretty much hid behind her clipboard when she noticed my appraisal, and I smiled weakly.

It was strange to me- how calm I suddenly felt. I didn't care if I offended someone, if they killed me. Yes, death surely would be kinder. The pain was almost unbearable; pain killers probably were available if I were in the human world, which I most definitely wasn't.

"I-I'm sorry," she smiled weakly, slowly removing her clipboard. I noticed quite a large bruise on her cheek. She moved to push her hair over it when she noticed my gaze. "The machine doesn't like the reishi," she whispered, motioning to the clicking, whirring thing beside me. "It was hard getting it from the human world then having to reprogram it for soul use- and then on top of all that... it can't handle reishi..." she sighed lightly.

It seemed a lot of fuss to go through, just for me.

"Aizen-sama will be down shortly," she added weakly. "I tried to numb down the pain but I'm not sure if it worked; can you talk?"

I wasn't sure, I hadn't tried but...

sighing weakly, I pushed myself up so I was sitting. The horrible, jagged pain I felt as I did it assured me that her efforts hadn't really worked- though they died down quickly once I was still again.

"This room is rather depressing."

It shocked me- how weak my voice was. It wasn't very loud anyway from how shy I was, but... Oh how Grimmjow and Nnoitra were probably enjoying this.

The hollow smiled meekly, and slowly backed away. It took a few seconds to understand why, but slowly I could hear them. His footsteps were slow and calm, but large in stride. It was hard to tell anything from them- they seemed relaxed, and yet hurried.

The immense amount of reiatsu, that even I could feel like this, coming this way informed me that Aizen had arrived. What would he say? Berate me for getting into this mess? Lecture me?

"Leave."

He sure sounded angry, and the hollow rushed out of the room as he sat at the seat beside me. I never paid much attention to him before, I always caught myself before I started staring. I had wondered if it would attract bad attention from him.

Yet again I found myself not really caring what attention I got.

There was an air of grace about him. Confidence- maybe too much, oozed from him, and his eyes and facial expressions were not the warm one's he'd greeted me with. They were rather quite cold, and I had to stop myself from shivering.

"You got yourself into quite the mess, Shiori-kun."

I smiled weakly at him; I didn't know what to say, and I couldn't tell if he was angry or amused.

"It took a great deal of work to save you, we have no need for any medicinal equipment here, and the stuff we got had to be altered for use on you, and for use here," he sighed. "Szyael was happy he had something to do but..."

It was small talk; I wondered if he was trying to make me feel at ease, but he was a hard man to predict.

"You seem quiet."

I blinked lightly, frowning to myself. "I'm not sure what to say..." I winced at my voice and sighed again.

He paused, a curious glint in his eye as he chuckled. "How do you feel, Shiori-kun, apart from the obvious pain?"

Confusion, was the first thing. His question could have meant a lot of things, and I could answer to in many different context's. But, how did I feel?

Anger seemed most prominent, and I thought back to my previous feelings. The machine beside me whirred and sprung to life with a loud squeal, before winding down as if it's batteries had died.

"I would give anything to be able to wrap my hands around his throat and..." I sighed lightly, clenching my fists.

All this came down to the fact, if I was stronger, I could have gotten away with smaller injuries; I may have even been able to fight back, or slap him once or twice.

"So it seems as if you found your will to fight," his voice echoed the smirk mirrored on his lips. He seemed gleeful, but not overly so. "If you were strong, Shiori-kun, what would you do?"

What would I do?

"I don't..." I frowned softly. "I know what I would do first... I would humiliate that stupid cat... He has more experience, even with my power he would probably still beat me," I paused. "But I could humiliate him, I would enjoy that."

His eyes showed the amusement he otherwise hid; he would enjoy that too. He leant closer to me, smirking more all the while. "You would give... anything?"

I gulped lightly, I felt a little unsure of how he was acting... how he'd phrased it. "Yes... I would."

Aizen chuckled deeply and sat back in his chair. "I can give you power," he mused. "You're neither shinigami nor hollow to begin with, so I have no idea if it would work. There's a chance you wouldn't even survive..."

It sounded ominous but...

"I don't care."

"You won't be able to return to your human body at all," he raised an eyebrow. "It would probably sever the chain tying you back to it."

So in a technicality, I would die. My human life would, I would belong to this world and...

"That's not so bad," I frowned. "Not really..." Not if it was a means to an end anyway.

Ignoring my pain- or rather, not caring about it, Aizen swooped me up into his arms and began walking. It was a brisker pace than before, his strides were still long.

We didn't walk for long- we seemed to be back in his quarters again. I wondered if that was for 'safe keeping', none of the other hollows could come here without his permission and none of them dared trying. To me, it was probably the safest person in the fortress.

He set me down in the middle of the floor- it took a lot of energy, and it sure hurt a lot too, to keep myself stood up. I had been dressed in a plain white dress, and I could feel the tight bandages underneath. Despite that, I still felt the blood running down my back... down the backs of my legs...

I shuddered at the tickling sensation. The movement had reopened some of the wounds on my back, and using so much energy probably didn't help much.

Because I hadn't been paying much attention to Aizen, the sudden warmness that overtook my body shocked me. It was a nice sensation, it tickled at me, lessened my pain and made me a little heady.

The heat rose- it almost felt like I'd been burned and not yet felt the pain, but it was nice and relaxing. Pins and needles ran over my body, and the warmth grew more.

It grew uncomfortable. I felt like I was too close to a naked fire, that the flames were just touching my skin. I felt like gasping for my hair, but was alarmed when I couldn't. I couldn't do anything.

No screaming, no moving... no breathing.

My eyes widened in panic, and I tried to find some way to get out of this; it didn't feel as bad as what Grimmjow had inflicted upon me, but this was uncomfortable. There was nothing numb about it.

The burning stopped instantly, yet I was unable to regain control of anything.

Aizen's eyes upon me were curious. He seemed like he was watching something he'd seen many times before, but this time was paying attention to all the little details he'd missed previous times.

An ear splitting scream ripped from my throat before I could stop it, and the pain overwhelmed me, commanding me to drop down to my knees. It felt like it was controlling my body.

When I tried to do something, I couldn't...

A few more screams, and I fell down onto my side. The burning seemed more inside now, and I felt more than a little panicked. A contained fire was safer, but this seemed far, far worse than before.

It was like it was burning away everything inside of me.

The inferno stopped abruptly, and I lay there; a light sheen of sweat covering my body, panting softly.

I was bracing myself for another wave of pain, like there had been before; but not a thing came. Aizen remained silent, and I slowly pushed myself up to my knees.

All the pain from my wounds had gone, and I found I had far greater control over my limbs than before. They responded much quicker, and I found myself on my feet before I'd really thought about it.

Everything was a crazy, blur of a mess. I could feel things- everything. All the reishi in the room, in the whole building... I could feel how it moved, when it moved; how large it was... I could feel the differences in each pattern, but couldn't put them to their owners yet.

I could taste it too, in the air. Each different pattern had a unique taste. I assumed the one most predominately in the room was Aizen's. It was bitter and far too strong for my liking- like black coffee or something.

My skin had not changed; it seemed slightly tougher, more durable than before, but it remained the same colour. My hair had grown longer, to the middle of my back and it had seemed to go curly half way down.

I was taller, but not by much- and still overall, ultimately small. I wasn't perhaps as scrawny, my arms had some muscle to them like my legs.

_How interesting._

My eyes shot up, and I stared at Aizen. He stared at me back, but his mind remained blank. I wondered if maybe I hadn't gotten the hang of that yet- that I would still need to work on that power.

An image suddenly shot into my mind, and I moved to the side, just a little, to narrowly miss his zanpakuto. So my speed had increased, and it seemed my power worked correctly.

I felt more confident too. More sure of myself. I felt like maybe I could fight with him, and.. and win! The logical side of my thinking assured me that, however much I felt it, that would not be the case.

Aizen relaxed, and chuckled deeply.

"You seem to have a very good control of reishi, you've been manipulating it in the room." He seemed more to be talking to himself. "You'll need to work on that, and controlling it, just like with your other power but..." he smirked.

So I was not a hollow, not a shinigami. I felt rather confused to what I was.

"The previous souls I tried this on ripped to shreds in the process."

"So why didn't it with me?"

My voice shocked me again. It was not ultimately different than it had been before, maybe a little deeper and smother but... How strong and confident it was. It didn't sound like me at all.

Picking up on that change, Aizen's smirk grew. "I'm not sure why," he mused. He went to pick at a curl of my hair which rested on my shoulder, but I grabbed his wrist before he could reach it. "You're not fast or strong, not by yourself. You probably can't even tell what you're doing."

Well he was right with that, but I wish he would get to the point.

"You're pulling the reiatsu around you, supporting it into your body. You're even using mine," he chuckled. "It's not even rejecting you, you're just... using it to strengthen your limbs."

_She has quite a bit of reishi too, she could be quite... dangerous, if taught properly. Included with her power-_

His thoughts cut off, and he stared intently at me, almost marvelling. He seemed... almost as though I was not supposed to hear his thoughts, yet he could see that I could hear them.

I dropped his wrist when I saw his want to leave, and followed after him.

He tried to keep his thoughts to a minimum, and he seemed troubled whenever he did think something.

"Neliel has been replaced," he said simply as he opened too large double doors. A few of the Espada sat in there; Starrk was lounging up one end, Ulquiorra sat quite impassively in the middle with his arms folded and eyes closed- though he seemed one of the most alert in the room.

Nnoitra sat on the chair closest to me, though I paid him no glance when we entered, I could feel his greedy eyes on me.

Grimmjow also sat in the room, and it took almost all of my willpower to not attack him. I didn't look at him either, but I took in his reishi. I tasted it, and kept it close to me; I would use it later, hunt him down and-

"This is Halibel." Aizen raised an eyebrow at my lack of attention. I gave him a bored stare- I didn't really feel so interested in Nel's replacement... He let out an annoyed sigh. "Halibel take care of her for a few days, make sure she's clothed, sleeps, eats and doesn't get into trouble." He gave me a hard stare this time.

So until he said, I couldn't get my revenge. I felt a little cheated- it almost seemed he was giving me these powers to get Grimmjow back for what he'd done, and now he seemed to be denying me that.

I felt angry too, but my glare was wasted as he left the room. His thoughts weren't angry, he didn't even seem to notice how annoyed I was. I longed to know what he was anxious about- maybe to blackmail him, perhaps... If I had that maybe I'd get my revenge sooner.

I turned to glare at Grimmjow once I was sure Aizen was far enough away. Perhaps I could do it now- if it was my end then...

Halibel let out an annoyed sigh and stood up. She was tall- and another one like Rangiku, Inoue and Nel. Before I would have felt quite inferior but now... well...

Perhaps it was cocky of me to think, but I felt like I could do anything. It confused me- how could something like almost dying.. and a small bit of power give someone such a huge personality shift?

Halibel took my wrist, and led me out of the room. It stayed silent even after we left, but I felt Grimmjow's reishi move. He was fidgeting, and he was anxious.

I smirked hugely; was he worried? It seemed stupid for him to worry when I was so... inexperienced compared to him, but...

I also found myself wanting to return to the human world. To get my revenge on the Shinigami there too. I shuddered in delight thinking about it; Grimmjow first, he would be most satisfying... most delightful.

"You may indeed be able to protect yourself, and maybe even fight with him without dying now, but I out rank him, my strength is not even close to what his is." Halibel's voice was cold to me, though her thoughts of her fraccion were mostly kind, she did not want me causing a fight, because it would be her who got into trouble. Apparently she thought quite highly of Aizen.

I suddenly wasn't so sure of the company I had chosen. It made me suddenly eager to hunt the 'king' of the realm down and squeeze all the answers out of him but...

Halibel closed the door as she left, and I sat idly on the bed. I was tired, but anxious, and a little excited; and after sleeping for, however long it had been, bed was the last place I desired to be. Regardless, I laid down and started to think.

Plans were needed, if things were going to work in my way.


	11. Physical Attraction

Chapter 10

I was being stalked.

One of the female hollows, a few inches- maybe a foot or so- taller than me, had been following me for the past few days. Since Halibel had cared to let me out of the room which she had locked me in, I had ventured throughout almost the entire 'Palace'.

I took in all the Reiatsu in the area, tasted it, felt it; I would be able to feel changes in what was going on much easier, and so it was only natural to know when someone was following me.

The hollow in question was smart. She stayed close enough so that she could still sense my reiatsu, but far enough away that I could hear her thoughts. Every now and then she'd take a step too far and I'd be able to hear bits of what she thought, but she would always correct herself and take a few steps back. I never did anything to enclose the space between us to hear her, she was of little significance to me.

Whatever she wanted, it would take her a few seconds to get to me; which was plenty of time to hear, see, what was coming from her own mind. Arrogant, perhaps so, but that didn't make it any less true.

Control of my power was hard to gain- I still struggled with it, and every now and then it would fail me, but most of the time everyone in Hueco mundo and Las Noches were open books to me. I loved it, but of course they hated it.

Grimmjow seemed to be avoiding me; whether he was sure I wanted to extract revenge on him, or because he was plotting something and didn't want me to know, I wasn't sure. Nnoitra didn't seem brave enough to let me out of his sights, and he had become second on my list of people to humiliate.

I had seen in his mind just what happened to Nel. I almost flew at him in rage, but I managed to control myself. Barely. His pink haired friend, Szyael, would get his cake shortly after his partner in crime.

He also avoided me.

Aizen, was also staying away from me. I kept tabs on his reishi, although he seemed to be trying to suppress it- I did wonder if that was so I couldn't feel him- and I could feel his movements. I often laid in my bed at night and concentrated on feeling him pace around. He was tense and anxious, but I could never get close enough to learn why.

Unlike my stalker, I did try and close the gap on him. I needed to be close enough to hear what he was planning so I could fix my own plans, but he was very careful- even to the point where he would go to the other end of Las Noches. Overcareful perhaps. He didn't even tell anyone else his plans- though, apparently, that was not a new revelation.

The last person who seemed to be avoiding me was Ichimaru Gin. The silver haired Shinigami had never been warm to me, nor had he been cold. We'd barely ever conversed, apart from his occasional greeting near to the beginning of my stay. I briefly caught parts of his thoughts, but they had been about Rangiku- it confused me.

Unfortunately I'd not been careful enough, and he'd caught me staring with the interest and confusion in my eyes and now he also stayed away. He did not want me knowing anything. I briefly thought about mentioning to him how we'd perhaps be able to make a good team- I wanted revenge on many of the hollows, and now that I was sure Aizen had never been telling me the whole truth (why else would he go out of his way to avoid me?), whatever he seemed to be planning might work well with what I also wanted.

But like Aizen, as soon as I got close to him, he moved. It was frustrating, but ultimately his loss. If he wanted to work alone, so would I and if he got caught up in my plans and messed them up, well, that was also his loss.

I wasn't overly sure of anything I could even do. My power was easily avoided on a day to day basis, and unless someone I was 'fighting' fought best at range then it was in my favour.

Shamefully, I was not a fighter.

I was able to push reishi into my muscles, joints and limbs to strengthen them and make them work better, faster and for longer. It did not make me strong, and it didn't make up for the fact, I knew not how to fight.

However, in the few fights I had been in with the younger hollows- who'd wanted to 'spar' and 'train', I had not lost a single battle. I was quick and agile. I could see their moves and plans before they acted them out, and I was quick enough to be able to react against that. That alone, of course, would not be enough to win me any fights. I could run fairly fast- none of their sonido seemed to be able to match up quite to the speed which I gained from filling my legs full of energy; though of course, this was also not something which would cause me to win.

I was able to pull bits of reishi from the area around me, from the people- hollows rather- and use that energy to strengthen myself. In a place like Hueco mundo where everything was made up from reishi... I had almost infinite energy.

So while I was not strong enough to really inflict any major wounds while they were still full of energy, when they were tired and running low, even gentle attacks were able to make them stumble. I learned how to throw a few punches and kicks, where to attack to cause most damage, and how much pressure to use on whether I wanted them knocked down, knocked out or...

Well I had not killed anyone, so I wasn't positive of how much it would take to kill someone, but with my abilities I could probably find enough.

Ulquiorra, who was not avoiding me (and actually seemed to have taken to observing me), tried to use 'my' ability himself. He was successful- to an extent. He'd only been able to make it work for a few moments before the energy rejected him. No one else noticed, since it had made no real change, but I watched from inside his mind- and he was very much aware of it.

"It's an ability anyone could possibly use, if they have the right affinity and the practise for it," he'd said simply. He sounded sour that he didn't have full control over it, but he tried constantly to get it to work.

I also found in his mind, the small dregs of what he hid from Aizen. He'd firstly tried to hide those thoughts- and had done so quite well, but when he decided I was not going to bring the subject up with the 'king' of the domain, he no longer hid it.

I didn't tell him outright that I knew, and we never openly spoke about it, but there was a mutual understanding there.

I would have to make sure Ulquiorra did not get wrapped up in any of my plans, but he was loyal to his 'master', to some degree, and would probably fight if I failed in my first attempt.

I enjoyed his company too. He was curious about me, but never asked. He was mostly silent and most people seemed intimidated by him. I enjoyed the silence it brought, and his thoughts were mostly impassive and, almost peaceful.

Just because I could read peoples thoughts now, did not mean I enjoyed the constant tussle of noise. I couldn't find a way to turn it 'on' before, but now turning it off was the problem.

Halibel watched me for the first few days, then content that I wasn't going to go causing a fight, left me alone. She barely spoke to me, and I had no desire to speak to her. She was nothing more but Nel's replacement.

I had picked upon the former third Espada's reishi a few times, but it was very small and seemed to be quite far away. I was forbidden from leaving Las Noches without Aizen's permission, and as he was avoiding me I could not go and find her.

I was not yet intent on breaking the rules, he had tricked me into trusting him and now I would do the same.

Early morning, about two month's after I had arrived, a week or two- perhaps three- after I had woken up from my near 'death' experience, Ulquiorra had been given a task by Aizen. It was the first hint of his plans I'd heard in a long time, and it unsettled me to hear them.

At first I was paranoid, wondering if he was trying to fool me, but then logically explained to myself that Ulquiorra had no sense of ulterior motive and Aizen would not risk his 'most loyal' Espada. So I accepted Ulquiorra's 'offer' of going with him.

Only it was more of an order than anything. And it wasn't really going with him- there had been some scene a few days ago which led to Grimmjow's demotion, and he would be coming along too. Ulquiorra was supposed to be elsewhere, securing the acquisition of Inoue Orihime.

The rest of us were simply there to keep the Shinigami busy while this happened. Ulquiorra asked me to go, so he could assess how well my powers worked in the human world. There was far less reishi there, so I would possibly be restricted.

I did not much enjoy the company I was forced to keep- though seeing Grimmjow in an absolutely foul mood was completely enjoyable and somewhat euphoric. He was anxious under my gaze the whole time, and he shot off as soon as we arrived.

Toshirou was the first one there to 'greet' us. He exchanged banter with Grimmjow's replacement, Luppi and paid very little attention to the rest of us. I took the brief time to survey the world.

It was foreign to me now, a little overwhelming, but nice too. Ulquiorra had been right about there not being so much reishi here, and I felt quite parched for more. It was manageable though and I had confidence. It was like having one chocolate bar as your only source of 'food' for a whole month. It could last, if you used it sparingly and wisely.

So as long as I didn't use too much and for any foolish reasons, the reishi I could use would be able to last me long enough. I didn't quite have control of using other Hollows, or Shinigami's reishi in the same way, so I didn't factor that in.

The white haired captain's eyes fixed on me as he appraised the group. He barely noticed when his comrades joined him, and his mind was almost blank. He recognised me, and he was startled. My reishi and physical appearance, the fact I was there of my own free will and most surprisingly, the fact I was alive each surprised him more than the other.

So I had been right when I figured Aizen wasn't telling me the whole truth. I felt even more resolve to get revenge, and if anything I hated the man more than I hated Grimmjow. He'd led me to believe staying with the Shinigami was unsafe and would lead to my death, when the other had been true. Aizen was unsafe, he was the danger.

The shinigami would only have helped me to control my power, and the reishi which had been leaking from me and attracting hollows. I had never been in any danger with them.

The revelation left me almost gasping for air, but I showed no... relief or any of my sadness. There was a chance, I could still have been entirely human now, and not some sort of twisted... I gulped.

And there was no way I could even go back now.

Because of that, there was no reason to look back on anything. I had my plans resolved- if not fully perfected- and I would see them through. Aizen would suffer, there had to be some way to get at him and if only I knew what it was...! I somewhat wished, I could protect Inoue from becoming his tool but that would only give me away. I had to earn his trust, slowly, get close to him and then-

"Shiori-chan?"

I half jumped at Rangikus outburst, and she was smiling hugely and waving at me much like the first day we met. Toshirou scolded her for being so warm to her 'enemy', but she ignored him.

The fight between the two groups was already under way by the time I came back to my thoughts, or rather the thoughts of the others. Toshirou seemed mostly concentrating on Rangiku, and Rangiku on me. The others were absorbed in their own doings.

Abarai Renji, was the exception, and the one I had least expected to be consumed with me. He was trying to make sense of it- why I was here, why I was against them, my changes and every answer he came up with disturbed and unnerved him.

He grew more, and more distant from his own fight as his thoughts carried on. The hollow fighting him, my stalker it seemed, also concentrated on me- though she was nervous. She remained focused enough to realise his openings, and moved in to finish him off- even though killing them was pretty much against what Ulquiorra had wanted.

I grabbed her wrist as he came to his senses, and both went silent. Renji was curious- shocked that he'd been so close to his death and unsure why I'd stopped it; and my stalker was furious.

"Are you betraying us?"

I stared at her dully, releasing her wrist. "Ulquiorra told you, and them, not to kill anyone didn't he? Wouldn't you be the one betraying 'us' if I hadn't stopped you?"

She said nothing, but growled lightly.

I smirked in satisfaction. "Why don't you go stop Grimmjow before he goes and kills someone, huh? I'll take over here."

If I could pull Renji away somewhere quieter, focus on his thoughts, I could pull apart everything I needed to know that might help me. Rose- the stalker of mine- glared persistently at us both, before disappearing with her sonido.

Renji moved to go after her, but I grabbed the back of his shihakusho before he could get too far. "What? You want to fight?"

"Perhaps," I smiled softly at him. "I guess you'll have to find out."

I moved back a few steps to avoid his attack, then the next, and the next. It was easy enough to pull him from the others- and he grew increasingly frustrated about my avoiding him. They had no clue about my power.

But, I was also running out of reishi. It took more than I thought here to constantly keep up that speed, so when I was far enough away, I stopped and turned to him.

"You sure you don't want to go back to your friends? They're losing quite badly."

Renji growled. "They're stronger than you think."

"You're not sure of that," I mused, smiling more and folding my arms. He stared for a moment, then put Zabimaru back in his sheath.

Neither had the intention of attacking, but we both wanted answers. He would be the only one who needed to ask the questions though- and I watched his mind as he ran through everything. Aizen's defection, some girl named Hinamori, his relationship with Rukia. It was all rather pointless information, but Aizen's zanpakuto was the most useful bit of information I'd gotten recently.

The hollow's very rarely thought of Aizen, so it was hard to get information from them. Aizen's zanpakuto could be, most definitely was, quite dangerous. I couldn't be sure if I was under it's effects or not, or if it would even work on me. I don't recall him ever showing it to me- the only time he'd drawn it out in front of me had been the day of my 'transformation'. Maybe he'd done it then, but I couldn't be sure.

"What did Aizen say to you?"

I stared at him impassively, before stretching about. Renji was quite handsome- I saw in his thoughts how he looked with his hair down as he went over his battle with Ichigo, and it seemed to suit him more than having it up. I wondered if his tattoo's were supposed to intimidate others, but if anything they made him more mysterious. I barely came to his shoulders before, and now I only seemed to be a bit taller than them. His eyes were a deep brown, and I found myself having to tear away.

Physical attraction was something new to me, and I hadn't been attracted to him when I first met him. Maybe I hadn't taken him in before, or maybe my... personality adjustment had done something. Or maybe being close to him and seeing his mind, the way it worked.

I gulped, and shook my head. He was staring at me half confused, and he was also taking in my looks. He noted the differences, even the subtle ones.

"What he said isn't true."

I should lie to him.

"I never said it was," I mused, to myself more than anything.

"I don't... understand."

"You don't have to, it's not for you to understand."

I'd never really even spoken with him before, and never alone. It was peaceful and nice, and I shuddered. I did not like physical attraction, it made my thoughts incoherent, and my hormones made my body want to act in other ways.

Strange how a 'soul', a 'spirit' could have hormones really.

"You don't intend to fight..."

"Ah, the intention in coming wasn't even to fight in the first place, I think you're confused," I chuckled softly, laughing when his expression became confused. He didn't like the way I phrased things. "Maybe I'm supposed to distract you from aiding your friends; I'm sure you can feel they're losing?"

His thoughts flickered to them, then to Chad. He was training him, and he'd taken a small break to aid the others with their... 'Bankai'. So, zanpakuto releases had different stages, like Ulquiorra did. It wasn't like that with other hollows. They had their 'sealed' state, and then their release.

He had other questions in his mind, but he seemed hesitant to ask them. What happened to me? Why were we not supposed to kill them? How was I so fast? Was I actually going to fight him when his guard was down? What were my 'powers'? Was I a shinigami? Or maybe some sort of Hollow? Maybe a hybrid like Ichigo.

The last one caught my attention, and he thought about Chad and Inoue's powers. Humans', but with very obvious spiritual powers. And Ishida, a quincy. I'd never even heard that term before, and he didn't think much on that.

"The fighting has stopped."

I'd been so caught up reading him, I'd barely kept tabs on anything. Grimmjow's reishi was gone, and the others were disappearing.

"Indeed it has."

He watched curiously, wondering if I was going to go back. He planned to attack when my back was turned, if they kidnapped me- he didn't want to subject me to it- but take me back to soul society, for questioning, get anything they could out of me.

I did wonder if I was stranded here- I had no idea how to return back, and even if I did; I had so little Reiatsu left, and I was too exhausted to summon more or to steal his.

"Onna."

As usual, Ulquiorra's presence put me at instant ease. I found myself not wanting to leave, my body urged me to stay. I would have to find a way to disregard the physical attraction anyway and forced myself to the hollow's side when I felt his increasing annoyance at my lack of response.

"We're done."

He stared at the shinigami, who was frozen in his place. He had no intention of attacking, he was just trying to make sense of why I was going on my free will. It surprised me when he convinced himself that I was just scared of Ulquiorra's strength, and went so no one got hurt.

I felt almost sad.

Ulquiorra pulled me through, snapping me out of my daze and ordered me to follow after him. For once, I didn't care to pick through his mind about what had happened or what was going on now; he'd obviously succeeded in capturing Inoue Orihime but I was far too distracted.

Rangiku was possibly the only one in the group I could have considered my friend. She'd been very friendly and open, and very caring when I wanted her to be. Renji and I had barely even spoken, and it shocked me to hear him try and make excuses for my innocence, and it hurt that I knew his judgement was misplaced.

It was true I was here because I'd been tricked and lied to, but I stayed out of my own free will; there was no fear or 'control' behind it. I almost wanted to apologise to him, set him straight and make him hate me.

I wasn't sure if I could fight someone who thought of me as he did, so friendly and for no real reason. He barely knew me and yet... I sighed softly, trailing absently behind Ulquiorra. I would have to return to the human world sometime soon and track Renji down, get him to hate and despise me, show him that his trust and judgement was wrong. I was his enemy, he had to see that.

This whole thing got more complicated by the second, and for the first time since I'd resolved to gaining Aizen's trust and getting my revenge, I doubted the whole thing. Maybe there would be an easier way-

No.

I would return at some point, set Renji straight even if I had to find a way to beat him within an inch of his life. He was fond of Rukia, maybe I could do something to her- it would get the others to hate me too, then there would be nothing to make me doubt myself, second guess everything.

The sooner I set him straight, the less painful it would be to them later on to realise all their beliefs that I was being manipulated were false. I wasn't sure why exactly I wanted to spare their feelings, and I found myself becoming more uneasy.

Ulquiorra said nothing, and I soon found myself in the middle of the room I'd come to when I first arrived. Aizen's voice was strange to me after not hearing it so long, and I was surprised to be greeted by it when we stopped.

"Shiori-kun, glad to see you're still in one piece."

Inoue was stood a few spaces away, staring quite wide eyed. Her thoughts were silent, and so were Aizen's. I stared intently at the man, and he smirked hugely at me, obviously very proud of himself.

I smiled politely at him. "Aizen-sama."

I paid little attention to the discussion in the room, and Aizen paid little attention to me. He seemed pleased by my greeting of him and was no more concerned with me. I was going to have to find a way to get back to the human world; Aizen would not willingly send me there, Ulquiorra would perhaps but I wondered if his 'allowance' of me going would be enough? Gin or Tousens 'okay' would work but... Which one?

I stared up intently at the Shinigami. Tousen paid no attention to me and didn't even feel my glance on him, I hadn't ever really spoken to him and he seemed to be more of a tool to Aizen than a 'comrade'.

Gin, on the other hand, stared at me intently. He paused as my gaze turned to him, and I wanted to know what was going through his mind. It was true he and I had never been alone together, and aside from the passing greeting, he and I had never partaken in any conversation together. My lips twitched, and upturned into a smirk as our eye contact lingered.

Perhaps it was time to change that.


	12. Uncertainty

A/n: Just a quick note about this chapter. It has manga spoilers :), so if you only watch the anime and don't wish to be spoiled, I'd suggest you stop reading.

**Chapter eleven**

Getting out of Las Noches had not been so easy, even so for Ichimaru. We figured with his 'okay' it would have been simple. A few of the guards had said I wasn't allowed to leave, and it took a lot of persuasion for them to let me go.

Gin seemed to expect this little hitch, and it made me more suspicious of what Aizen was up to. Everything under the 'light' of Las Noches was his- and everything was monitored. Ichimaru and I couldn't talk there, therefore we needed to leave. It seemed to be the thing Aizen was trying to stop, and we were going to have to come up with a very good reason for him 'overlooking it'.

I found, that, once out of the safety of the 'palace', I could hear Gin's thoughts clearly, though I did not listen to them. I wanted to hear everything from his mouth, and he sat himself down on a rock in the middle of nowhere.

"We're going to need a good explanation," I murmured. "Especially if he's trying to stop me from leaving."

Gin sighed. "He doesn't want you leaving because he doesn't want you as his enemy. He can keep tabs on you in there... Out here, he can't." He fell silent and a faint breeze ruffled through both our clothes.

"He doesn't trust me."

"He's weary of you, he knows you're a lot smarter than what he thought." Translation, he'd underestimated me.

I sighed, running my fingers through my hair. "This doesn't quite work in accordance to my plans."

He seemed amused as he spoke. "Na, so you did have something planned! I didn't miss the glare you gave him when he all but stopped you from embarrassing Grimmjow and Nnoitra. Do I get to hear it?"

"Unfortunately no."

"I'm hurt, you don't trust me." His chuckle showed he was only playing and he shifted anxiously. He didn't like the fact I already knew everything, yet he knew nothing of me, or my own plans. He didn't fully trust me either.

"No, it's not that... It's just, my plans are foiled now," I sighed softly. "The aim was for him to trust me, at least enough to let me into his head."

"He's using his... toy, to stop you," he mused.

"Indeed."

I felt like a criminal. Low voices in a brisk pace, we were risking being caught and then everything either of us had worked for would... Him more so than I. He'd worked hard, but even he knew Aizen did not fully trust him. What was the saying? Keep your friends close and your enemies closer?

But it seemed Aizen had no trust in me at all; he didn't want me knowing his next moves so he did everything to prevent me from being able to learn of them. It almost made me feel ill, to have built up my plan and now have it be worthless...

With Inoue Orihime's capture, there was not enough time to work on gaining his trust. I had hoped for weeks, maybe months; not mere hours, minutes or perhaps seconds. Time was not on my side, I was going to have to come up with another plan.

"I don't suppose we'll need too much of a good explanation for why we had to come out here," he sighed. "Though, if he asks we could always say you wanted to know what happened to Neliel."

My rough feelings of hate and distrust melted away at the thought of the former third Espada. How long had it been since I'd seen her? Months perhaps, and I missed her dearly.

It was true, out here I could feel her Reishi, but it was different. I wanted so badly to go and greet here, but there had to be a reason she hadn't returned. I would wait for her, of course but...

The thought of Nnoitra and Szyael... I growled softly, clenching my fists. I hoped that whatever end happened to them both, it would be slow and painful. As for Grimmjow... well, he looked far too happy with himself since Inoue had healed him up. I hoped someone ruined that too.

I hoped, somehow, Ulquiorra would come out okay. He and I would likely end up to be enemies, and I didn't like the thought of that. He was strong, and I had no doubt he'd be able to kill me- nor did I have much doubt that he would. But I liked him, he was soothing to be around and I found solitude in the silence of his company.

"What do you plan on doing?"

Gin needn't explain his own plan- I had seen it, a million times over now. He was sure of what he was going to do, and he was fine tuning it- figuring out every possible move, and every other counter move. The one key fact he had was how to get past Kyoukasuigetsu. By touching the blade before it was released, you became immune to it. Perhaps that was also an advantage for me, I had no idea if I was affected by it and it never hurt to be safe.

"I'm not sure... I could go onto the side of the Shinigami, they still seem to trust me but..." I sighed softly, shaking my head. We probably didn't have much time left, and whatever I could come up with would be sloppy at best. "I'm sure he could just kill me, why hasn't he?"

Gin was troubled by this too- and in fact, he'd banked on Aizen killing me almost as soon as I arrived. The fact he'd 'given' me power and let me survive for so long, living quite freely (more free than Inoue at least), was unsettling to him. He put it down to Aizen enjoying the 'risk', though knowing ultimately I wouldn't be able to touch him.

"Perhaps he's arrogant, he thinks as long as you can't hear him..."

"He has to know there's going to be some way around that," I frowned lightly. It didn't seem like there would be any time soon, but... "If that... thing picks a new master and doesn't... 'obey' him. Surely he knows that's a possibility?"

Gin remained silent, but his thoughts gave the answers I was looking for. I felt troubled at this and Gin barely believed it himself; but he wasn't sure what else to think.

I tried desperately to wrack some sort of plan together. Gaining Aizen's trust was out of the question, but aiding the Shinigami was too. It would all depend on if I returned back now or not.

Silently, Gin stood up and stared in the other direction from the palace. I had felt it too- the new reiatsu. I wasn't fully familiar with it, but he was. It was hard to make a decision under the pressure- I had to make one now, and it was going to change everything.

Gin took a few steps off back to Las Noches, and turned to face me. He hadn't yet noticed the other two bits of Reishi in the air but...

I almost felt the air rush out of me, and I wasn't quite sure why. It was stupid to think about- was it happiness? Worry too I supposed. It was hard to explain, and I felt under even more pressure to decide right.

"Go ahead without me, I'll follow you after I do something."

Gin left instantly, his thoughts resting on a certain blonde shinigami. Rangiku was lucky to have someone who cared so much about her.

I was absolutely positive of one of the reiatsu's I was heading towards. I focused on that one mostly- I had no real idea who the other was, but I had a sneaking suspicion. It was hard to explain the feelings that came over to me- I supposed I was nervous, would they attack me? I hoped not. Would they hear me out? Probably not.

Warmth was another one of the feelings, and I didn't understand that one. I had no idea why I would feel that, and was it even really a feeling? It sat deep within my chest, and made it hard to breathe whether I took a breath. I had to stop a few times from becoming dizzy from the feeling. It wasn't painful or uncomfortable though.

Even if I had wanted to go back, I supposed I was not able to now. I felt drawn to this person; and it wasn't long before I found myself staring at their backs.

They barely noticed me, both too busy arguing over which direction to take. I felt envy, jealousy. I wanted to separate them, do something to stop them being together, something to cut that relationship in half but... I didn't have it in me. It would hurt him too much if I hurt her, and so it did not feel as good as it should have done.

"Kurosaki Ichigo isn't going to go missing... for the record, Rukia is right, he's that way."

Both jumped at the sound of my voice, and they turned slowly. Rukia rested her hand on the hilt of Sode no Shirayuki, but Renji remained quite impassive.

"Where is Inoue Orihime?"

I felt almost like I should tell Rukia everything- where she was, how to get to her...

"I can't tell you that."

She growled, obviously quite frustrated. She wanted her friend back more than anything, she didn't believe Orihime was guilty of leaving of her own free will...

"We tricked her into coming with us so.. you are correct that she didn't quite leave on her own accord, Inoue is easy to fool." I made sure to make it clear to them that I was still their enemy by using the plural 'we', but they were both quite confused. I'd given them information; what was my motive?

What indeed.

Renji stepped forward, and the warm feeling brought it's self up. There was no way pure physical attraction could affect someone quite so much.

"How come you're even here?"

I felt it was pointless to give him anything but the truth. Perhaps if I made them aware of my own situation, they would not interfere.

"I have my own plans."

He became interested, and Rukia relaxed her stance.

"I'm not going to explain them to you, they're mine, and I intend on staying alone." How funny to hear me say that. Even if I'd been shy and refused Rangikus attention before, it had made me happy to be noticed by someone... To be wanted by someone and to have some friends. The fact I could openly, and actually mean it, admit that I wanted to go in this completely, and entirely alone...

I felt sick.

"I just don't want you to get in my way." I sighed, staring intently at the red head.

He was busy trying to figure it out- and he was quite troubled by the changes I'd made. He felt pretty angry too- that whatever happened to me here had caused me to become like this... His fingers twitched as he reached for Zabimaru, but he folded his arms over his chest last moment.

"So why can't you tell us where Inoue is?"

"Because that would entail you getting in my way," I smirked softly, chuckling. "Look, there's no way you're getting into Las Noches that easily, it's hard enough to get out, let alone get in." I sighed softly. "I don't have much time, but I have a favour to ask."

"Why should we do anything for you, if you wont' tell us where Inoue is?"

I almost gave into the desperation of Rukia's voice. She'd never had many friends and she cared about Orihime quite deeply.

Renji again stepped forward. "What is it?"

I was surprised to find that he trusted me completely. There was no doubt in his mind that my words had been true. Why would he trust me? There seemed to be no logical reason for it, and the warmth in my chest almost purred.

"If you find someone called 'Nel', please look after her... She'll mean you no harm, but she's important to me," I smiled fondly at the thought of her. "She's out here somewhere, but I can't find her myself."

I'd probably spent too much time out, and I would need to be getting back before Aizen came out looking for me himself. I cared little for what he'd do to me, but...

I shuddered, and turned before they could reply. "I'll send Inoue Orihime your regards," I added, leaving before I could second guess myself.

I did, want so desperately, to stay with them, help them and protect them. But my own plans were more than getting a friend back- though they were going to have to do a lot to get her back, that was true... Their paths might even cross my own, especially if those three got involved.

And what of Ulquiorra? If he fought them, if I was on their side... Would I aid him? Would I aid them? I doubted I could sit by while either one of them got hurt.

The shinigami had done nothing to wrong me, and I found myself wishing I had trusted them from the beginning. I wouldn't be in this mess if I had stayed with them.

I made it back to Las Noches quickly and Gin greeted me at the door. Aizen wasn't angry- in fact he'd almost forgotten about it, he was more concerned with the 'guests'. It would mean the next stage of his plan would be able to begin soon.

I envied that man too- he had everything set, and it all went how he'd wanted it to. He knew the outcome he wanted, and I had no doubt he would end up getting it- though, no one else really knew his true motives. Gin questioned what Aizen had told him, so neither of us could be sure what he wanted.

For the first time since I'd resolved to getting my revenge, I wasn't sure if I would succeed, of if I would even come out alive. I could not see my next move, and I wasn't entirely sure what was supposed to happen next.

Sighing, I set off to the room in which Inoue stayed; the least I could do was pass on Rukia's message, like I had told her I would. All I could do now was wait and hope for the best.


	13. Tea

Chapter 12

Inoue stood alone in the room, staring intently up at the small window. Her room was tiny and quite dull. There was a sofa and a small table, a rug in the middle of the floor but not much else. There was a plate full of food on the table that didn't look like it had been touched at all. Her room faced the outside of Las Noches, and the only source of light came from the stars through the tiny window.

She looked over her shoulder when the door opened, light beaming in, then went back to her before position without looking at who it was. I could sense Ulquiorra's reiatsu quite prominently; it didn't surprise me Aizen had given her custody to him, like he almost had with me.

"Do you know, Orihime?"

She jumped, startled at my voice. She hadn't been expecting me at all. "Shiori-san..." she didn't know whether to be happy or not. I hadn't spoken to her since she first came, but her voice was warm; even if a little hesitant. She sighed, turning back to the window, holding her hands together on her chest. "Why would they come for me...?"

Did she think so little of herself? I had seen her power in Ichimaru's mind, what she could do was incredible. If she so wished it, she could reject people from existence- though she was so gentle I doubted she'd have the want to do that. Inoue was gentle and disliked fighting.

"Because they're your friends and they'd do anything to save you, they care about you." I hadn't intended for my voice to be so soft, and I sighed, sitting down casually. "You should eat, the food here is good."

"I don't feel very hungry."

Shrugging, I let out an annoyed sigh. "I have a message, from Kuchiki Rukia." Her body tensed, and she moved to face me, intently listening. "It's not to leave this room I spoke to her." Aizen was preoccupied with watching the intruders, and if he happened to overhear this then so be it. I would deal with that when it happened.

"I don't understand."

"You don't really need to, you just have to agree if you want the message." She bit her lip, nodding hesitantly. "She's sorry you ended up in this situation, but she will do everything to get you back where you belong and she knows the others with her will do the same," I chuckled softly. "You know soul society forbid them from helping you? They branded you a traitor."

Orihime let out a sigh, hesitantly sitting beside me; hands resting in her lap. "I don't know why they would go to such lengths..."

"Don't you get it, Inoue? You're important to them. You're their friend," I let out a frustrated sigh. Rangiku had not come to rescue me, neither had the others. Granted, I didn't have the same bond Inoue had with them but...

That left me feeling quite hollow and lonely. I swallowed back the lump in my throat, fidgeting anxiously. "Inoue, you have to trust them. Did you honestly think they wouldn't come to your aid? That was Aizen's plan the whole time, your power is impressive... but he doesn't need it."

He didn't need mine either. Aizen's motives were mostly confusing; I had no idea where he was coming from. He took me and I had no bonds to lead them here, no one would miss me and he didn't need my powers. Regardless he'd brought me here, and even trained me himself and made me stronger.

Why would he go to such lengths? Aizen knew what he wanted, he had his plans all set. He probably even factored in Renji and Rukia's arrival, and soul society forbidding any shinigami in helping with the retrieval of Inoue Orihime. So what was the point of me?

I was ordinary to say the least, and before my mother had died I hadn't even been able to see a spirit. Painful shyness must have been my exceedingly amazing skill, but even that was gone now. I couldn't fight and didn't want to, before anyway, and I wasn't even that smart.

I was uncoordinated and ultimately clumsy without the excuse of being tall and lanky. I couldn't hide behind being beautiful, or an amazing figure... I had no friends, and the only family I'd had... she was dead.

It was hard to tell how long we sat in silence. Inoue returned to her previous spot after eating a bit sometime while I was preoccupied, and I was surprised greatly to find Ulquiorra sat beside me, arms folded an eyes closed.

As always his presence sent a wave of peacefulness over me, but it made it no easier to figure anything out.

"Do you have permission, to be here?"

I grimaced a little, sighing. "I wasn't aware I needed permission, I only came to make sure she ate," I shrugged. It was viable.

He eyed the food and frowned. "You didn't do a very good job, perhaps you should have made it clear that she'd be force fed if she didn't eat herself."

"I'm not a behemoth like you," I sniffed, feeling somewhat hurt he'd regard me like that.

Inoue had a surprised look on her face; had she expected me to get reprimanded for talking to him like that? Or was she confused and my earlier request about Rukia's message replaying in her mind?

Ulquiorra let out an annoyed sigh. "Grimmjow is worked up."

"Of course he is." The stupid cat hated Ichigo, so the Espada were allowed to fight. Grimmjow would have long since left Las Noches if they weren't, instead he was still here, waiting.

"Speaking of behemoth's and aberrations," I smirked softly, unable to think of a more fitting word for Nnoitra... 'aberration' fit him well.

"Nnoitra is underestimating them, as always."

"Sounds about right."

It did strike me as odd, that we could have a conversation like this. I was in no way his equal, and he could have killed me quite easily. In fact, he'd been my former 'keeper' and had been forced to keep an eye on me.

"Onna..." both Inoue and I looked at him, and he sighed. Since we were unable to tell who he was talking to. Inoue looked like she wanted to correct him, 'Inoue Orihime', but stayed silent. "Shiori." I felt surprised he even knew my name. "Aizen-sama was looking for you earlier."

I sighed lightly and stood up. "Why didn't you say so earlier?" I tutted, waving my hand absently to both of them as I left.

What did Aizen want with me? To question me about my previous absence? I frowned softly, chewing my lip quite anxiously as I walked alone. I wasn't surprised to find him in the 'board room', a cup of tea in his hand, watching the progress of the shinigami quite intently.

"Ah, Shiori-kun." His warm greeting startled me, and I felt suddenly nervous. He chuckled. "Sit down?" he motioned to the chair beside him. "Have some tea."

I narrowed my eyes, but did as he said anyway. He pushed a mug of tea towards me, and paused as he brought his own to his lips when he noticed I wasn't touching it. "I haven't done anything to it," he frowned.

"I never said you had," I raised an eyebrow at him, taking a small sip from the cup, and putting it down. He drank his tea, now seeming quite satisfied.

I moved my gaze to the images of the shinigami. Rukia and Renji now joined them, along with... "Nel..."

Aizen smirked softly. "They picked up some strange friends, didn't they? Pesche and Dondochakka are there too," he tutted. "I am quite disappointed in what happened to her."

"You mean disappointed Nnoitra didn't kill her," I interjected.

"I'm hurt you think so callously of me."

I didn't defend myself, we both knew I was right. Nel now sat in a child's body, quite innocent and... well. "Perhaps this is kinder for her anyhow, she doesn't like fighting, and now she doesn't have to."

I wondered if he factored this into his plans too. He didn't seem alarmed she was there, if she got her powers back somehow, she could be quite the asset to them.

I knew instantly what side I would pick if it came to a fight with her. Nel had been one of the only people to show me kindness here, and she'd protected me from Nnoitra, I hadn't thought too much on that (for I did not wish to know what he had planned for me that day if she hadn't come alone). She'd also told me that I could be strong, and I could fight without becoming a monster, if there was a reason to fight...

My reason until now had been revenge... what on Earth would she think of me? I felt almost sick. I hadn't shed anyone's blood yet, perhaps that would be enough for her to forgive me.

But I would fight for her, and I would fight for the shinigami, and for Inoue too. Even if it cost me my life, I would protect Nel. "Does Nnoitra know?"

"About Neliel? No." Aizen sounded amused. "I do wonder what will happen when he finds out."

I gulped down, scowling. He would go after her, that's what he would do. The shinigami were strong, but... could they defeat an Espada? Could they defeat him? He was strong; arrogant , cocky and a complete and utter idiot but... He was strong.

"Ulquiorra said you were looking for me." I wanted to get it over and done with, though I was sure if he was angry he'd have shown it by now. He put his mug of tea down as I picked mine up, and I took another few sips.

The tea was sweet and smooth, less bitter than tea I'd had here before, but also stronger in taste. I suppose I wasn't surprised he had different types of tea. It really was quite nice.

"Do you know what type of tea this is, Shiori-kun?"

"No," why would I know? I frowned softly, what did types of tea have to do with anything? "I lived in Europe until recently, the only tea I drank had milk and sugars in it."

He stared at me curiously for a few moments, before chuckling softly. Aizen could be handsome, if he wasn't such a monstrosity. He was strong, smart, extremely skilled and an amazing tactician. There wasn't anything that he did, that he didn't do well. He was well spoken and well mannered, and quite serene and peaceful when he wished to be. I probably could have found myself attracted to him in some other reality, much like...

My eyes drifted up from Nel's figure, and I stared intently at the red head. Renji seemed preoccupied, and annoyed about having Nel bouncing around on them- did he remember what I asked of him? To keep her safe?

"It's Gyokuro tea," he said simply. "It's a special tea, it's kept in the dark before it's picked... that's what makes it taste different and give it's special character," he mused. "It's usually reserved for special guests and occasions, but I figured you would prefer the taste of it. I suppose we do have some special guests though, don't we?"

I blinked at his explanation. It seemed, to me anyway, that he was comparing it to me- it was true, I was kept in the dark for the past few weeks. I hadn't been able to hear anything, and I wasn't able to go much other places.

I wasn't sure what he meant by it. Did he expect me to be stronger now or something? I was weary of him again. Maybe he had it planned all along that I would go against him- what good would that serve though? What purpose was mine?

"You've gone awfully quiet."

"I have a headache."

"Ah, I've never heard of spirits getting headaches, I wonder if it's your powers which cause it, then again, you're not quite like a normal spirit, are you?" he smiled lightly, almost resembling how he looked when I first met him.

"Well I can't hear anyone, or anything, so I don't suppose it's my power."

"Maybe it's deprivation?" he laughed deeply.

"Not to sound... ungrateful, Aizen-sama." I forced myself to still be polite to him, for all I knew, he didn't suspect me of anything. "But did you ask me here just to have tea?"

He chuckled and put his mug down. "Feel free to return to Inoue Orihime if you prefer her company, I thought you would like to see Nel, that was all."

I stood up, frowning. I did not wish to return to the human girl's company- I felt sick around her, having such good friends. My only friend was out there, unable to protect herself.

Perhaps the right thing to do was to go and get her and protect her- but the right thing isn't always the best thing. She was safer, the way she was now. Away from the fighting, away from Nnoitra and all the violence. And she had Pesche and Dondochakka, what did she honestly need me for?

"Oh." Aizen's voice stopped me as I opened the door, though I did not glance back to look at him while he spoke. "I am quite disappointed, Shiori-kun."

"Why is that?"

"I'm sure you noticed the lack of my zanpakuto," he paused. I hadn't noticed, but it made no difference to me now I had Gin's answer to that.

"Why would that you disappointed?"

He sighed softly and stood up. "You missed quite the opportunity."

I left the room quickly, shutting the door. He did indeed sound disappointed, but also highly amused. Had he been wanting me to attack him? It did, indeed, seemed like I'd missed a perfect opportunity there. He had no zanpakuto, but really.. if he'd been expecting it.

So he knew that I was planning to attack him? So why did he let me live? Why did I still have free reign? Was he really so confident in his abilities, and the fact I couldn't hear him? That I didn't know what he was planning?

Did he know I knew everything Gin had told me? Ichimaru had figured out how to stop his zanpakuto himself, Aizen had never even hinted at that... so he couldn't be worried. The simple fact he made a comment about being without Kyoukasuigetsu also...

And now what was he expecting me to do? Go after Nnoitra to protect Nel? Return to Orihime and try and 'break her out'? Both ideas were no good. Perhaps I should go to Nel's side, was he expecting that?

I sighed softly, shaking my head. Aizen seemed more sure of what I would do than I did. Maybe he had some sort of power to go into the future and he knew how this would pan out.

Did I even want to attack that man? I didn't want my revenge with Grimmjow and Nnoitra, and I only wanted to fight to protect Nel and the shinigami. I supposed it was in their best interests if I tried to take him out, as it were.

I ran my fingers through my hair, before absently tying it back. A small part flopped over my face, barely grazing my left eye.

No matter what decision I seemed to make, it seemed inevitable that some sort of fight would break out and I would be involved. I wanted most, to protect Nel. Wouldn't the ideal thing to be, to go out there and aid the shinigami in the rescue of Inoue Orihime? I knew my way around... I was strong.

Or would it be more beneficial to get her out myself? That might avoid the worst of the fighting...

Should I even protect her? Supposed I stayed on Aizen's side, fought along side Ulquiorra, Grimmjow and even Nnoitra. I had nothing to gain by protecting Nel! She probably barely remembered me, and the others cared so little they hadn't tried to save me from here when I first arrived.

They probably didn't even need my help, and they'd seemed all... perfect together. I could see Inoue with them, but not myself. No matter how hard I pictured it. Then there was the jealousy I felt towards Rukia concerning Renji...

And that I did not fit in. I was neither shinigami nor hollow. I wasn't human, I couldn't go back to being alive in my human body, and I doubted soul society would let me go there. If I stayed here without Aizen's power...

And so it probably really wouldn't matter so much if I died in the middle of a battle, so I supposed it really made little difference which decision I made. It was just... if I was going to die, who was I going to die for?


	14. Time is Running Out

_So, the story is almost at an end. But not quite! I have three or four endings planned, the 'proper' ending, and alternate endings that could have happened. I will write them all up and post them though._

Chapter thirteen

Time is Running Out

_To be, or not to be: that is the question:  
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer  
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,  
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,  
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;  
No more; and by a sleep to say we end  
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks  
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation  
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep..._

_William Shakespeare, Hamlet act 3 scene 1._

By the time I had finally made up my mind what I was going to do, the shinigami had broken into Las Noches. I watched them carefully through the monitors; the Espada, Gin, Kaname and Aizen also present in the room. Ulquiorra was still guarding Inoue, so I took his seat- to Aizen's request.

Nel was still with them, though Nnoitra didn't seem to even realise the little girl was her; I was thankful, if he knew... I sighed deeply. Aizen watched me curiously, I pretended not to notice but he probably saw I was annoyed by his stares, but he kept on any way.

The room was silent, no one made any comments. Every now and then Grimmjow would scoff and laugh, fold his arms and moan. Starrk was bored out of his mind, and looked rather like he'd prefer to go back to his nap.

Kaname and Gin left the room first- Starrk was soon after with the other Shinigami who were 'above' my seat. Aizen remained, eyes still intent on me.

"Shiori-kun," he lent closer over the table. The remaining Espada looked up from the image, staring at him, then at me. I twitched nervously.

"Aizen-sama?" I did not look at him.

"I must say I am pleasantly surprised to see you still with us." I paled- he wasn't going to mention Nel was he? I tensed, ready to pounce Nnoitra if I had to. He chuckled softly. "Never mind, you do quite fit sitting there, don't you? Hm, I wonder..."

Grimmjow and Nnoitra both looked ready to have a fit- especially Nnoitra. Having one woman out ranking him was an atrocity, having two there? That was unacceptable.

"You can't possibly mean that!" Nnoitra stood up, hands firmly on the table. "She's not even a hollow, she's just a normal, human spirit. So what if she has a few extra powers, she's not one of us!"

The truth, even from him, hurt, even if I knew of it anyway.

Aizen stared at him firmly. "I never said she would, I just simply stated it suits her, don't you think?" he raised an eyebrow, almost daring him to disagree.

Grimmjow spoke up this time. "Hmph, she's a coward... I don't see her out there, fighting the shinigami. Isn't she good to fight them?"

Aizen chuckled. "Then perhaps we should send her out there next."

So this was his plan? He knew Grimmjow would say that, he could call my bluff... See if I was really on his side. He looked triumphant, and Nnoitra cackled, sitting back down. Szyael wore a large smirk also, but said nothing.

"Is that what you want me to do? Fight the shinigami? Why is that, Grimmjow, huh?" I smirked hugely at him, standing up from my seat and staring at him firmly. "Because you can't defeat Ichigo yourself? If I do it, you won't have to embarrass yourself any more! You didn't even kill me properly, did you?"

"You would have died if Ulquiorra hadn't saved you!"

I chuckled, I loved winding him up because it was all too easy. "Well, either way, my powers don't work here," I pointed an accusing finger at the 'king', and sighed. "His little toy interferes with my power."

Nnoitra's face pretty much lit up. "You can't hear anything? You've... never heard anything?"

Aizen chuckled. "Regardless... Shiori-kun, tell me; if I let you hear... would you fight them?"

And I was well aware that he would be able to 'turn it off' again if I went against them. If I refused, I would probably be killed on the spot- Nnoitra would insist on it, and he and Grimmjow would probably...

I shuddered, clenching my fists. "Of course, I'll head down there now." They were coming up into the main complex- they'd all split up, Nel had gone with Ichigo... Which way did I want to go?

I barely knew Uryuu, I wouldn't feel bad about killing him... but Pesche had gone with him and well... Rukia also.. but Renji would hate me. Renji was out of the question and..

I sighed softly, growling to myself. I wanted to protect Nel; she accepted me, she liked me and.. even if she never remembered me, she had her peace now and I wanted to protect that.

But I also wanted to protect Renji. Even if he could never look at me with anything more than pity... he was important to others. I was highly attracted to him, and the past few days I had done nothing but dream of him when I slept, and when I wasn't trying to come up with ways to deceive Aizen, I was thinking of him then too.

I was not like him, we didn't belong together and even so... I was already committed to dying today. The least I could do was make sure he survived for Rukia, and for everyone else who found him important.

I could hear now too. Nnoitra's snide remarks, Grimmjow's growl.. I wondered if I should go off first, say goodbye to Ulquiorra. I liked his company but...

For now, Neliel had Ichigo to protect her; Ichigo was the strongest, so she was in the safest place. If I helped the others- Pesche and Dondochakka get back to her first...

I nodded, set in my destination as I headed off. Dondochakka was with Renji, and that's where I would go first.

I kept a constant listen to everything as I headed off. They were in the lower parts of the fortress; at least I didn't have to disguise where I was going, but I wasn't looking forward to the silence that was going to come when he found out I was going to 'betray' him.

Or maybe he was counting on that. It was too convenient, he'd kept me in the dark, made sure I couldn't leave... And now he was just... letting me go. On my own.

I could almost feel the greedy gazes of the remaining Espada watching this; perhaps even Ulquiorra too now. How would he react when he found out I was going to help the shinigami?

Well, it was too late to change my mind. I could no longer hear the thoughts of the hollows, and I could faintly make out the voices of Renji and Dondochakka.

"Stop chasing me!"

"But you're running!"

"SO?"

I chuckled softly, stood at the end of the corridor. They'd reach me eventually and... I sighed softly, closing my eyes. Neliel's safety would e bettered with the others being united again, they split up to find Inoue, but with me there.. they wouldn't need to split up. They could stay as one group!

The pair came to a skidding halt in front of me; both staring quite dumbly at me.

_S-shiori! W.. what happened to her? Nel-sama... is she on Aizen's side? She's going to kill us... Gentle Shiori?_

I smiled weakly at Dondochakka, and sighed when Renji readied himself to fight.

"I'm not going to hurt either of you, on the contrary, I'm here to help." Renji paused, regarding me with a confused look. "I figure... Nel's protection is important to me, if I put all you shinigami back together, Nel's protection is the best it will get."

"Protection from what? Why would that girl need protection?"

Dondochakka remained silent, and I sighed softly. "It's really not necessary for you to know... but, if you're all together, I can tell you where to find Inoue Orihime... in fact, we can get in there and out pretty fast."

"I don't... understand."

_Didn't she refuse to help earlier?_

He thought it was a trick, but Dondochakka pretty much flew at me. "I'm so happy! I thought Aizen sent you after us! Who better to go after the shinigami than someone who could hear their minds!"

Renji's eyes widened, so they hadn't known about my power.

"Of course you were innocent and hated fighting more than Nel-sama and yet..."

"It's a long story, Pesche is with that quincy friend of yours." I didn't miss Renji's look, he was confused.

_'Friend of yours?' He's your friend too, dumbass._

"No, Ishida isn't my friend, none of you are," I turned my back to him, sighing softly. "I don't belong with you, and I certainly don't belong with Nel. I'm helping you because it's a means to an end."

I walked before they could say anything else, and both kept up with me pretty easily. Renji pondered- my words, Nel's and mines connection, Dondochakka and I.. our relationship and how he wasn't complaining about keeping up any more.

"How are... the others?"

I knew where to find him, so I knew where to find the others. He knew there was probably surveillance around.

"Ichigo is fine, Ishida is fine," I muttered. "Rukia had some trouble when I last saw her and Sado..." I bit my lip. "You can worry about them later, the rest of you need to get together, then find them- splitting up is the worst thing you could have done."

Renji was by my side suddenly, an amused smirk upon his lips. "You're underestimating us."

"No, I'm not," I stared at him intently. "Aizen hasn't blocked out my power yet like he should have done, I can see your strength as you replay it over, and over, and over. Likewise I've seen Kurosaki's strength through Orihime and Ulquiorra."

"So? We got stronger."

"Espada don't just sit around either," I stopped, staring at him intently. "They will kill you if you don't use your head- Grimmjow and Nnoitra maybe brutes, but they have brains."

Grimmjow was more prone to acting on his feelings but... Nnoitra WAS dangerous. He was smart and he wasn't above cheating. "This is their territory, they have all the advantages."

"But you can read their minds, right? That helps too, and I'm sue you can fight too- I can feel that, your reiatsu is stronger."

For some reason, he was happy I was opening up to him. Happy I was on 'his side', happy I was aiding him. He kept thinking- maybe soul society would 'excuse' me after this, if I aided them, if I fought against Aizen...

I didn't understand it, and I couldn't find his reason- and he was too confused, he found no reason himself.

We both fell silent. My power could be taken away at any time within Las Noches, and I was surprised Aizen hadn't silenced them. Maybe he'd only silenced the Hollows, but I couldn't be sure.

Perhaps it had all been a trap, but... Aizen was a hard man to figure out, I was sure if I even had my powers around him, I still wouldn't have my answers. The man's mind was probably a maze, and he probably had some sort of protection if I did get to hear his thoughts.

And if I did get to hear them, was it just part of his plan?

"You know his whole plan was you and Rukia coming here? He wasn't going to harm Inoue... he just wanted you all out of the way."

"Why would he...?" Renji frowned, eyes widening slowly. "Karakura town?"

"I think so, I'm not sure..."

"Why...?"

I hated having to explain everything to him, but... If he was going to trust me, he deserved knowing. If I was going to die soon then... Well, I wanted to have one friend when I did... go.

"Aizen's hyougyoku can.. block my power by blocking thoughts of others around me off, apparently," I murmured. I didn't add I'd heard that from Gin, I knew Aizen was watching, and it would ruin Gin's plans if Aizen knew about him.

Renji went silent, and my heart thudded in my chest. The sickeningly warm feeling was back, and I did stumble a few times. I slowed down my pace so he wouldn't notice, but he did stare at me in worry and concern a few times. He thought I was ill or something, that whatever transformations happened had made me sick...

"I'm helping you so I can help Nel," I muttered. "I have no other reason to help you, Inoue is not my friend and none of you are mine either."

His thoughts, his train of questions had been bugging me. I probably shouldn't have snapped, but I did.

The crimson haired shinigami growled. "What the hell...?" I thought at first he was confused about the wide, open room we'd come into. He came to a stop in the centre of the room, and I stopped too. "We're not your friends?"

"Yes, that's right. We barely know each other, Rangiku spoke to me a few times, out of pity."

He looked torn between laughing and... well, loosing his temper. "Rangiku wanted to come after you when we found you'd been taken," he sighed. "Captain commander forbid us from it, Hitsugaya-taichou and myself agree'd with Rangiku but..." he sighed. "Yoruichi-san tried looking for any trace of you but..."

I frowned softly; Rangiku had...? And Toshirou and Renji?

I didn't understand.

"Shiori, you are our friend." His voice was surprisingly soft and tender, and warmness spread through my cheeks as I stared up at him. I wondered if it were possible for him to be even more good looking than before. "Rangiku was extremely upset when you'd left, she binged on food, it was kind of... scary really," he frowning, and I laughed softly as he remembered it. She'd 'discovered' ice cream and cake, and became quite fond.

"You're our friend, like Inoue is. Rukia likes you too, and Ichigo..."

I gulped; he didn't say it, but it was too late for him to unthink what he'd gone to say.

And Ichigo wanted to help too, he said all he could feel from you was incredible sadness, he lost his mother and he wanted to make sure you were okay.

Ichigo had his friends, and family- and I had no one. Ichigo had wanted to be there for me. I felt incredibly touched and, overwhelmed. Did they honestly see me as their friend? We hardly knew each other, and all I had done was try and get away from their constant attentions.

"I... Thank you, Renji."

He smirked softly. "So which direction now?"

I pondered the room we were in; I hadn't been here before, but it's reishi.. I sighed, closing my eyes and swearing. "It's too late."

"Indeed it is."

Renji jumped at the sudden voice, though I had heard it coming. "Who are you?" he glared at the pink haired Espada, withdrawing his zanpakuto instantly.

Szyael smiled. "My, Shiori-kun, I AM going to look forward in finding what makes you tick with your interesting powers!" He laughed, turning to the red head and sighing. "I am the Octava Espada, Szyael Apporo Granz."


	15. Resolve

A/N: Hm, not very fond of this chapter so it possibly seems rushed. I hate doing fights :( I'd intended to take it up to when Starrk takes back Inoue but that was too long so...

Chapter Fourteen

Renji stared down the pink haired Espada, his mind going almost fifty miles an hour. I was surprised how quickly he could turn serious, but I supposed I shouldn't have been surprised- anyone could turn serious if their life depended on it, and this was indeed one of those moments.

Despite not having any physical strength, Szyael was the Octava Espada- the 8th. Aizen compared my strength and powers to Ulquiorra- 4th, but that was probably more 'as a human spirit with powers, you'd rank 4th'. Not, within the Espada...

For a start I had no zanpakuto, no cero and no bala either. I could keep up easily with Starrk with my 'own' sonido, but that was pretty much it. I could predict movements, block pretty well and dodge. I lacked a lot of my own skill to fight with any Espada on an equal footing.

Szyael might be the exception, since he was not physically strong. I had no clue about his zanpakuto though, and it didn't surprise me to not be able to hear his thoughts. The only mind I could hear was Renji's- Aizen had even unwillingly blocked off Dondochakka's thoughts from me.

Renji's thoughts paced back and forth- going over any plans he had, any ideas he could come up with. He glanced to me, wondering for a moment if it was fine to ask questions with his thoughts- though he soon realised that wouldn't work.

I would have to answer out-loud, and Aizen would be able to seal his mind off from me in the middle of something.

"What do you know about him?"

The basic question, and I sighed softly, tensing my body.

"Not much, he's not physically strong, strictly speaking on terms of physical aptitude, he's lower than some of the fraccion."

Szyael scowled at the insult, but didn't correct me.

"However he's extremely smart, he's also an underhanded weasel and cheating isn't above him," I growled softly, clenching my fists. "I owe him a whack or two."

The Octava chuckled. "Oh my, Shiori-chan, those really are fearsome words! A whack or two, hm? You think you can lay a finger on me?"

Renji tensed, and moved before I could tell him not to. I sighed softly as Szyael simply moved out of the way, his sonido was pretty good.

"Don't let him provoke you," I was at Renji's side in an instance, grabbing the pink haired arrancar's foot before he could kick the Shinigami.

"Hm..." I could see in his eyes, he'd forgotten I could easily keep up with him, and that indeed my strength was more than his. He was calculating- Renji was most definitely stronger than I, he also had no doubt, more experience than I did.

However his speed, and his 'lack' of intelligence on this one person would probably give him the lower hand. It was true, I could see it, that Renji was indeed fast but...

"I already have data on you." Szyael pushed his glasses up. "Abarai Renji."

"What?"

"I told you, he's not above cheating," I muttered. "Szyael isn't a fighter, he's a scientist; he's extremely smart. Not to mention..."

He grinned. "Oh don't worry, Nnoitra isn't anywhere near me. I think he went off to stop Grimmjow killing himself."

I paled, and he laughed softly.

Grimmjow would have gone after Ichigo and Nel was with Ichigo. If Nnoitra was there... I almost felt my blood run cold. I did not suppose for one second Szyael would let me pass while he was still alive.

The fact he was alone though, did little to help.

"I guess we should stop talking," I uttered. Most of the air had left my lungs and I felt ill- Nnoitra... Nel couldn't protect herself as a child. She probably retained some of her former powers but... nothing to the extent of being able to stand up against an Espada.

Szyael chuckled. "So you want to go to little Neliel's side, hmm?"

"Not to mention I owe you, and your freakish friend for doing that to her!"

Before Renji could ask his question, I was already gone. Overwhelm him before he could plot, before he could begin any sort of plan which would keep us here for too long. I concentrated hard outside too. I could feel Grimmjow, but no sign of Nnoitra yet. Ichigo and Nel didn't seem to be too far, if I could get out of here I could hopefully make it there before Nnoitra and...

Well, I didn't know what after that. Maybe being able to tell Ichigo he was coming and our combined force- and Renji too if he came, would be enough to stop the monster. Or if I could even get Nel away safely...

Szyael barely escaped my punch, and as such I grazed his cheek. He didn't seem surprised, a little annoyed perhaps. He muttered, cupping his cheek softly. "Shiori, turning your back of us so easy..."

"I was never your ally to begin with!" Ulquiorra's yes, but most of the Espada I didn't care for. Aizen himself I cared little for too, and I wished, hoped, the man would pay dearly for everything he'd done.

Renji's thoughts raced again as he stood back, watching. 'She's fast', 'maybe we stand a chance'. Szyael was only dodging though, he may not be physically strong but I didn't have the... enhancements arrancar had. My skin was not as tough- though I could toughen it up with my own abilities.

As such, when he got bored and pushed one of my attack backs, he sent me flying into a wall. It crumbled a bit, but mostly I bounced off and fell to the floor. I could feel a bit of blood running down my neck, and when I pushed my hand to the back of my head I could feel it.

"Shiori-kun, you do need to be careful," he chuckled deeply, eyes gleaming.

He was gone in a second and I was thrown back again. I could be fast, but without my mind reading abilities I had no real strength. I barely knew how to throw a punch and I had no experience. Szyael's movements were invisible to me, just as mine likely were to him... When I could use them.

Renji struck him away before he could get another attack in, and he frowned. "You can't fight."

"No, I can't... but we have to get out of here."

"Why?" he frowned. "What is the hurry?"

Szyael laughed cruelly. "It's amazing what fear does, isn't it? How it can motivate someone," he sighed softly, wiping off a bit of my blood from his cheek. "Up until now she's been purely focused on revenge-" he held up a finger when I growled. "Nah uh uh, Shiori-chan," he chuckled.

"Ass hole!"

"Such language," he sighed.

"Fear?" Renji was confused. "Why would she be scared? She already said you weren't strong."

"So that means I'm not fearsome?" Szyael mocked a hurt tone, but shook his head. "She's not scared of me, she's scared for that little child out there." He paused, eyes pondering before a large smirk overtook his features. "She knows how much Nnoitra will enjoy finishing her off, and of course, she can't defend herself- and where are her precious fraccion?" he laughed. "Ichigo might be strong, but his fight with Grimmjow will leave him weakened- I heard Ulquiorra got to him earlier-"

I muttered, pulling away from Renji and hitting him as hard as I could. "Shut up! I'll get out of here whether you're still breathing or not, Nel's life is too important for that creep to finish it!"

Renji's thoughts lay within helping me and staying back- he couldn't tell what I wanted. It was obvious I hated this man and I had a grudge against him; was it a personal crusade? Was it pride?

But he hated sitting by; Szyael was quite easily beating me around, taking advantage of my handicap. I couldn't' hear him, so I couldn't do anything to stop him. Aizen was probably enjoying himself a lot right now. Laughing as he watch poor, helpless little me get beat up.

"Shiori!"

I'd been so caught up with my thoughts, I'd not paid much attention to Szyael. I stared curiously at the Shinigami, wondering what on Earth...

And then I saw it, through his mind. He COULD see Szyael, his captain was fast- so he was used to keeping up with movements. Had I been underestimating him? I sighed softly, it was hard to work through Renji's mind, and when I did finally find Szyael...

Two things happened in the instance that my eyes locked onto his. The first was the overflow of thoughts I could hear from him- I had no way of knowing why or how, and I wasn't sure if it wasn't just my own mind playing tricks on me.

The second was the crash of pain as his cero pierced through my stomach. The pain wasn't instant- I was able to concentrate on Renji's voice, Szyael's thoughts and quite distinctively, Grimmjow's reishi in the distance before it overcame me.

I sunk to my knees, gasping for air and... And any type of relief I could find. My vision hazed over, and my mind went quite numb.

"Shiori?"

I wasn't even positive if it was Renji's voice, I could make out some red but how did I know what I was really staring at? Whoever it was, as they lifted me up, their arms were strong, warm and I felt quite safe. Despite the pain, I felt peaceful and...

I'd already resigned myself to dying sometime this day- preferably protecting someone, and yet Szyael had gotten me before I could even attempt to do anything to help Nel. I clutched at his shihakusho. It hurt to move and talk, but... "Renji, please... Neliel is important to me... you have to protect her."

He muttered a few words, and his hand enclosed around mine, removing my grip from him and he set me down.

Things went dark a few moments after.

* * *

I couldn't say for sure what was going on, though there wasn't much I could say for sure at all. There was no white ceiling above me, just vast blue sky. There was no pain either- in fact, shouldn't that have killed me?

I rested my hand on my stomach; there was a tear in my shirt, but there was no wound. Perhaps I'd healed myself... Some of the Arrancar did have accelerated healing, maybe I did too. Well... either way I supposed I was quite thankful.

Now the sky... I groaned softly as I sat up. There was rubble everywhere, but no one else seemed to be around. I could feel a lot of things going on, but I couldn't' exactly tell what any one thing was.

I was exhausted though, I supposed it wasn't surprising really but... not very nice either way. I scanned around, looking for some indication of where I was. It was still Las Noches, it was just... in pieces.

In one direction I could faintly make out five people. Pink hair and red hair being prominent, and I gulped. Renji was still alive, but so was Szyael. At least Renji had allies now, and I stood up- debating giving him another one, when I felt it.

Grimmjow's reishi had vanished, and in it's place sat Nnoitra's. That self righteous bastard.. I clenched my fists and stared sadly; I wanted to help Renji, but...

I gulped, heading off in the other direction before Szyael noticed me. Hopefully Renji wouldn't hold it against me, but... Neliel was important to me. I would do everything within my power to protect her.

Imagine my surprise when I got there- finding Inoue in the hands of Nnoitra's fraccion. I couldn't hear them though... Inoue just about but... I wished Aizen would stop screwing with it! He was playing games... Maybe if I saved Nel he would let me have it back?

Ichigo was quite beaten up, and Grimmjow's body was lying there quite... well... I sighed softly, casually stepping over it. "Nnoitra!"

He halted in his steps towards the shinigami and a terrified looking Neliel. She had tears in her eyes, and was tugging at Ichigo's clothes, pleading something like 'Ichigyo' or something.

"Eh?" Nnoitra scowled. "Another disturbance," he muttered. "One taken care of quite easily nonetheless but still!"

I expected him to come to me, but he kept advancing on Ichigo; hooking his foot into h is gut, and kicking him back against a boulder. Ichigo groaned in pain, and I wondered if he was in too much to scream.

Inoue looked close to tears...

"Nnoitra-"

My voice caught in my throat as his beady little eyes stared down at Neliel.

"I wonder..." He sighed softly. "This is pathetic, Neliel! Even I expected more of you, you're a pathetic child!"

He went down to grab her, but I barely managed to pull her away in time. I held her close to me, arms firmly around her. "Don't lay a single finger on her." I was exhausted, I couldn't protect her for long- perhaps I had enough energy to escape. I bit my lip, staring absently at Ichigo. I didn't want to leave him but he would slow me down! Nel was my priority.

The little girl clung to me, sobbing Ichigo's name. Ichigo was her friend- I couldn't abandon him either, she'd never forgive me, if she even remembered me.

"So that's how it's going to be? You'll protect her?" Nnoitra let out an annoyed sigh. "You'll die! You're already having trouble staying up!" He snickered. "Pathetic... you should learn your place, don't start getting a big head because of what Aizen said! You'd never come close to me!"

"You sure talk a lot, Nnoitra," my eyes narrowed and he took a step forward. I held Neliel closer. I wouldn't let go of her- even if it was my end.

He paused, before turning on Ichigo. "I'll finish him off first, I wonder if you can sit by and watch it?" He smirked more. "He's Neliel's friend, won't she hate you if you don't protect him? Can you protect her while protecting him?"

Nnoitra was quite sick, and I flew in front of Ichigo before his kick could land. It hit my back with some force, but I managed to push reishi into my skin; I would have a few bruises, but no broken bones... While it held up.

"Feh! Turning your back to an enemy! That's cowardice!"

"Coming from a man who had to hit a woman from behind to win!" his foot connected with my back again, and I clutched Nel tighter.

Inoue cried out, begging him to stop; but Nnoitra's fraccion silenced her. Ichigo's eyes were barely open, and he stared up at me weakly. There was no pity though- some form of warmth, perhaps, friendship?

"P-please stop!" Nel was in tears, and she clutched herself closer to me; face buried against my chest. "All of Nel's friends... Nel can't bare it!"

Nnoitra made some disgusted sound, and brought his foot down with more force. It pushed me over, and Nel flew out of my arms as I tumbled down beside Ichigo. If I wasn't so tired from my previous... incident.. I might at least be able to fend him off while even Ichigo got out of here.

Nnoitra was a brute, and he underestimated everyone; especially me. He would think it's weakest attacks would get me, perhaps at the moment they would...

I could feel the mass of reishi building, even with my back to him. It did not take a genius to realise he was charging up a Cero. I closed my eyes, sighing softly. The second time today I would get hit by one, only Nnoitra's was meant for two people and would probably kill me.

Five seconds.

Nel cried softly, yelling quite furiously at the Espada to stop hurting her 'friends'. She probably didn't recognise me, but...

Four.

Maybe if I took the worst of it for Ichigo, he'd be able to do the rest to protect her?

Three.

"What are you doing?" Ichigo tried to push himself up but, it really was no use. "Get her and run!"

Two.

"Neliel-sama would never forgive me if I abandoned you, Renji wouldn't forgive me either."

Ichigo's eyes shone with confusion; why should I be worried if Renji wouldn't forgive me?

One.

The place illuminated as the Cero closed in on us, and I clenched my eyes for the impact, but it never came. Ichigo's eyes were wide as he stared behind me, and I peered over my shoulder at the shadow overcasting us.

"N-Neliel-sama..."

I wasn't sure if I was happy or not to see her back in her full form. She'd stopped the cero quite easily, sending her own back at him with her 'cero double'... but... She was happy as a child. She could avoid the fighting, she could live in peace.

"Shiori-chan..."

My heart jumped at hearing her voice.

"Thank you, for protecting us both when you had no reason to protect him," she smiled softly over her shoulder as she picked up her zanpakuto, Gamuza.

Ichigo stuttered, gaping for words. "Nel... Nel...?"

Nel simply smiled at him, before facing Nnoitra again, and taking a few steps.

"But I don't understand..."

I helped Ichigo move so he was sitting up, and moved myself to sit beside him. He watched her curiously, eyes widening again when the wind ruffled her clothes, exposing her number which rested on her back.

"But I don'-"

"Nel-sama is the former 'tres' Espada," I murmured. "Szyael and Nnoitra played a dirty trick to take her out and forced her into the form you know her best in," I sighed softly. I'd never seen Neliel fight, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to. Fighting caused her pain and so it caused me pain... But there was some heir of beauty and grace about it... "She's a good person and she's my friend."

"You're a good person too, you know," he frowned. "Does this mean you're on our side?" he smirked triumphantly.

"I was already helping Renji," I muttered, blushing softly as I stared back off to where he'd been. "I hope he's okay."

"He can handle himself."

"You mean like you can?" Ichigo winced in response and I made a knowing sound. "I thought so."

Nel's saliva had healing properties so there was a chance she'd be able to heal him up quickly once she was done with Nnoitra, and even Inoue once she was free. The amount of relief I felt; perhaps I would survive, and perhaps we'd all manage to go 'home'. Well...

Nel, where would she go? And where would I go? I'd get in her way, but I didn't belong anywhere else.

I was surprised to see Inoue suddenly at our side, kneeling beside Ichigo. Tesla had let her go and rushed to Nnoitra's side. Neliel stood quite impassively, surveying the destruction.

"Kurosaki-kun!" her face was full of worry as she stared over him. "Are you okay?" She looked up at me. "Are you okay?"

I smiled weakly. "A few bruises, but I'm fine." I noticed her eyeing up the whole in my top. "That's an earlier wound, it's all healed up; tend to him, he's more important."

I stared curiously over at Nel, biting my lip. Was she okay? She let out a sigh, before turning around. She stared at us curiously, before her face lit up and she bounded over.

Her arms encased around Ichigo tightly and she laughed softly; not even realising the physical amount of pain he was putting her in.

"Ichigo!" she cried happily.

"P-please, Nel-san, let me tend to his injuries!" Orihime was all but aware of his pain, and all but aware of the fact Ichigo was pulled tightly against Neliel's large chest.

Neliel barely looked at me. She'd regarded me earlier and thanked me but... I did not get the same greeting, and neither of the three noticed when I stood up. So I would not die, but I had nowhere else to belong.

Maybe Aizen would be kind and kill me himself; he had that much humility, right?

I'd barely taken a few steps, when arms latched around me from behind. Nel's face buried into my cheek. She kissed it gently and I could feel her huge grin.

"Where are you going, Shiori-chan?" she grinned more, squeezing the life out of me- pretty much. If I hadn't 'reinforced' myself then she'd have broken a few of my ribs. "Your hair got long!"

I sighed, moving around in her arms and wrapping mine around her tightly. "Nel-sama..." She was warm, and she smelt nice. Her arms felt just as safe as Renji's had earlier. Perhaps I did have a place I belonged.

She grinned, laughing softly. "Where are Pesche and Don-"

Her question froze in it's sentence, and Orihime's healing froze. Nnoitra was still... very much alive. She turned sharply, glaring at his snickering form. "Nnoitra!"

It was rare, to hear Nel get so angry, and she pushed me down beside Ichigo as she paced back. Really, Nnoitra shouldn't have survived against Neliel's cero double but...

It had only been.. a few months, Nnoitra's power, for it to grow so much in that time.

"Is Nel-san going to be okay...?"

I stared intently at Orihime, then back at the former third Espada. "I hope so... if she struggles I'll help too."

"What can you do? You're exhausted," Ichigo muttered.

"Neliel is my friend!" I scolded him, wincing at my own harsh tone. "I would rather die than watch her die, if I have to die to protect her and her peace, than I shall... I owe it to her."

I could see the pondering behind both of their eyes. I had shied away from Rangiku's attentions before, so what had Nel done that could possibly provoke such a strong reaction from me?

"Neliel has an exceptionally large heart, and unlike the others, she doesn't enjoy fighting. Her child form is probably as much a blessing as it is a curse,s he has no powers and no rank... but... she has no reason to fight, and she suddenly has the peace... it's kinder for her..." I wondered if I was more talking to myself than anything, but, it answered their unasked questions.

Neliel's released form was something to behold. It was the first time I'd even seen an Espada's release. She seemed to be winning- Nnoitra as always underestimated her, not taking it too seriously and...

Her attacks wore him down, to the point where he was at her mercy. She stood over him, and I felt a great deal of pride. For what I had to be prideful for, I didn't know, but... Nel would win, and we would leave with our lives.

Funny. I'd resigned to my death and I was okay with it... so what was the sudden flutter of warmth and happiness at the idea that I could, indeed, see some sort of future for my life? I was hopeful I would get away with my life.

When did that happen? When had my resolved melted away?

Suddenly, Nel's form melted away and she sat there; staring wide eyed at Nnoitra, as a child. I froze on the spot as Nnoitra's laugh echoed. His foot slammed down onto her, and he kicked her far away.

"N-Nel!" I gulped, clambering onto my feet and rushing to her side- though Nnoitra's hand grabbed my neck before I could get to her. "Let me go, you beast!"

"I did intend to kill her in front of you first, but how about we do it this way! Now she has her memories and no power..." he laughed cruelly, his grip tightening around my throat.

"Pathetic, honestly."

The voice was deep and booming, and whoever it belonged to cast a shadow over us. Nnoitra stared quite unimpressed at the scene, but flung me over to Nel's side.

"Who are you?"

I jumped in surprise when a young child, possibly smaller than Nel's current form, popped up on his shoulder. She had pink hair, and a large smile on her cheek. "Ken-chan, Ken-chan, lookie!" she giggled, pointing over to us.

'Ken-chan', who I assumed to be the 'Kenpachi' I'd heard about, glanced at Nel and I boredly and uninterestedly.

"Yachiru, stop being a pain."

It was quite the contrast, between the two of them. A young, happy bubbly child and very intimidating man.

Yachiru giggled softly, still happily perched on his shoulder. I stared intently, before picking Nel up; holding her close as I hurried back over to Ichigo's side. Reinforcements? Well, that would help but...

I closed my eyes softly; was this also Aizen's plan? Thinning the ranks? I sighed softly.

"Who the hell are you?" Nnoitra drawled out, staring impatiently at the new arrivals.

"Ah? Who am I?" Kenpachi cracked his shoulders loudly. "Yachiru, go back over there."

She pouted and made a sound of defiance, but was instantly sat up on a ledge a little away from us. "Ken-chan looks like he might have fun!" She declared.

Kenpachi turned to face Nnoitra, still looking quite bored and very uninterested. "Who Am I, huh? Captain of the eleventh squad, Zaraki Kenpachi..."


	16. Foolish

Chapter fifteen

Kenpachi was something to behold. It seemed like for a long time, Nnoitra had the upper hand in the fight but... and, for some reason, my powers were usable again. I could hear everything- even Nnoitra.

I wasn't complaining, but I was confused. Maybe it was because Aizen's plan was almost complete... he had nothing to fear from now on. It didn't matter if he let me hear. And it made no difference to Nnoitra's outcome if I could hear, I was not the one fighting and Kenpachi wanted no outside help at all.

Neliel sat in my lap as Inoue healed her up. She kept insisting on dealing with the bruises on my throat, and the ones probably on my back but she needed to save her own energy, Ichigo was the most injured and there were still other Espada around.

Nel was barely conscious. Her eyes were closed but she was listening carefully to everything that was going on, and every now and then she'd clutch at the front of my shirt and pull herself closer. I was happy she had her memories- maybe I could stay with her now or something. She'd survived living out in the 'wilderness' of Hueco mundo... Perhaps I could too.

I kept somewhat focus on the others too. Renji, Ishida and Szyael were too far away to hear, but I could make out their reishi. They were joined by two others- I assumed a shinigami and his or her fuku-taichou, but it was none that I knew. Likewise, Rukia and Sado were also joined by shinigami.

Yachiru was quite a strange child, she was extremely happy about Kenpachi fighting, and even more happy when he seemed to be losing. Apparently it meant he could 'have fun' or something. I wasn't really sure, but her mind was fully focused on his fight. She thought about sweets at some point, but refocused.

Inoue could only think of Ichigo. It was sickening, but also sweet in some ways. He was almost fully oblivious of how she felt- maybe I should hit him for being so blasé and slow but... I was sure they'd come around. He obviously cared deeply for her.

Ichigo's thoughts consumed of his friends and mostly nothing else. He worried about his other friends, and he frowned on the thought of Ulquiorra. I'd winced when he replayed the scene of his earlier attack- Grimmjow had taken Inoue to heal him so he could fight. Honestly...

"Ichigo..."

He looked up at me.

"They're all fine, they each seem to have someone else with them now," I smiled lightly and shook my head. "Stop worrying so much."

He stared at me; I had forgotten the rest knew nothing of my powers. It wasn't something I wished to explain, but I supposed I had to. "I can read minds... Aizen, however, usually stops me from doing it," I bit my lip.

"But you can at the moment? What does that mean?"

"What indeed." I didn't voice my ideas about Aizen being unconcerned about that now. It would probably only make him worry, and he'd hurry off to go fight him. No matter how strong he was, I was confident Ichigo would lose against Aizen.

"Girl!"

I jumped as Kenpachi barked, and both Inoue and I looked over. "Heal me."

Obviously referring to Inoue. I was surprised, to see Nnoitra lying there, in his own pool of blood quite surely defeated.

"N-Nnoitra..."

Nel's eyes cracked open, and she stared intently at him. They locked eyes for a few moments, then his slowly closed. His reishi disappeared a few moments earlier.

I had not expected the sudden sadness that overcame me. Nnoitra was not my friend, in fact I held little emotion besides disdain for him but... I supposed at one point we were 'comrades'. Nakama.

Nel clutched my shirt tighter and pulled herself against me. She too felt sadness, but said nothing.

"So now we find the others and..." Ichigo stared intently at the large palace. "Aizen..."

"Ichigo, if you fight Aizen here you'll die," I put Nel down in his arms, and he stared at me dumbly. "You don't know anything about him!"

"I know about his zanpakuto."

I bit my lip, huffed and looked away. Yet they all planned to fight, without knowing the simple fact of stopping his abilities. Were they suicidal? I suppose I should have told them the information. But I didn't.

The other fights seemed to be coming to an end, most of the reishi around slowly came to a stop. I could feel the other Espada's disappearing fully though and... I wondered why I was so sad. Nel spent more time with them, and while she concentrated and felt some sadness for the loss of her 'friends'... To me, they had been little more than jailers, even though I was positive if Ulquiorra's reishi disappeared next I would not be able to hide the sadness I would feel.

Ichigo may not like him, but I could even see in Inoue's mind she had warmed up to him. Ulquiorra was a curious one, he was not warm to anyone, and yet others seemed to grow fond of him. I wondered why that was.

I reached my mind out; trying to find some hint of the other shinigami incoming before the others could leave, but nothing came.

_Sigh, why do I have to do this?_

The voice was heavy with boredom and sleep, and I recognised it instantly. I squinted, reading the persons mind for his task, eyes widening.

"Inoue, mov-"

Of course, being as fast as he was, Starrk was already here, and stood behind her.

"I'm sorry about this, I don't really like..." he let out an annoyed sigh. His eyes locked with mine, and he picked her up over his shoulder and left before the others could barely react.

"What the...?" Ichigo went almost livid, and went to chase after him. Kenpachi managed to stop him. "I have to go-"

"I'll go," I grinned at him, straightening out my clothes. He stared at me curiously. "Starrk-san is fast, but I'm faster. If he thinks he can out run me..." There had been a challenge in his gaze, he'd wanted me to chase him, see who was faster.

The man enjoyed games too much for someone who enjoyed sleeping just as much. I sighed softly, grinning at the shinigami, and leaving before he could ask.

I wondered really what I was doing. Neliel was safe, I should stay back and get her out. I had no reason to save Inoue; was I really going after her? Perhaps it was so Ichigo wouldn't come and get himself killed.

"Welcome back, Inoue Orihime-" Aizen's voice paused, and his gaze flickered to me as I came to a stop just behind Starrk and Orihime. "Shiori-kun."

He blocked my punch with one hand, barely even flinching at the force; but he was surprised. He'd reached one hand down to his zanpakuto at the instant of my attack, but I'd grabbed it before he could.

_How does she?_

I smirked softly. "How indeed?"

His eyes widened again, so it was a complete mistake I could hear. He'd sealed everyone off, yet... He was as confused as I was.

"I must say, I expected a little more, there wasn't much hate behind that attack."

I stared at him dumbly, and sighed. "There's better things to fight for than hate, Aizen Sosuke."

It was the first time his full name had come from my lips, and it left some sort of bitter-sweet taste. It flowed easily and sounded nice, though I knew it shouldn't have. He chuckled simply, his hand tightening around my fist. I tightened my grip on his zanpakuto. The blade cut somewhat into my hand, since I was too concerned with saving my reishi for later, instead of toughening my skin to stop it.

"So what are you fighting for?"

It was a good question. What was I fighting for? Gin watched curiously, eyes slightly open. Beside him, Kaname looked ready to interfere but kept himself mostly impassive. I could vaguely feel Ulquiorra nearby, but I couldn't see him in the room. Inoue watched, somewhat fearful.

"I fight to protect my friends."

"The friends who left you here?" He lent closer so I could feel his breath on my face.

I growled at him; the last time he'd been that close it had affected me quite badly and I'd stuttered and blushed like a fool. Not this time.

"I pity you," I muttered, pulling my fist from him, and letting his blade go, before making the distance between us larger. Maybe it was foolish to let go of his weapon, but I had confidence I was faster than him.

"Pity me?" His expression was cold, his voice much so; but there was a curious edge to it too. Something he didn't know the answer to, something he had no clue about. It was like he longed for more things like that.

I did, indeed, feel nothing but pity for him. No contempt, no anger, no hate...

"You've never had people who care about you, never had any you care for. You've stood on your own for almost your entire li-" I grabbed his blade quickly, staring at him wide eyed.

I'd seemed to have made him angry, but he sobered up quick.

No one else said anything, and the distance between us appeared again. It took me a moment to realise everything was gone, no thoughts, no breaths... No real trace of reishi. Did he have me under his illusion? Or had his hyougyoku finally blocked me off again?

His eyes watched me curiously, cautiously. Just as I could not read his mind, he could not read mine. He did not know what I would do- for once in his life, he was completely unsure of anything.

I longed to know what he thought now. Knowing might aid me in surviving, something I did not think I was going to be able to manage to do. It was my own fault, I had carelessly followed after him, into his trap. I had knowingly done it. I suppose, this whole situation could be considered by some to be some sort of ironic suicide.

For, I was most certain he had planned this, at least. My following Starrk up here, fighting with him. I don't suppose he'd predicted the fact I would pity him; he'd probably thought there to be more hate than anything.

The monster paced, eyes peering at me. He was trying to figure out what I knew, trying to figure out what I would do. I did not even know that myself. His eyes gleamed with devilish delight, when he was positive that his plan had worked.

His lips pulled back into a smirk.

I grimaced and crouched down, ready to pounce.

The monster relaxed his stance, smiled lightly and he was suddenly gone. I closed my eyes, took a few deep breaths then smiled too.

There was no pain...

Not to begin with anyway. Much like with Szyael's cero, everything seemed... heightened. I could hear again- for a few seconds. I wasn't sure if it was thoughts, or a yell but I could hear Inoue calling my name.

Gin muttered something inaudible though I thought it sounded something like 'I'm sorry.'

Aizen's expression was cold and almost remorseful. Kyoukasuigetsu was lodged firmly through the place in which my heart should be, I could feel it's struggled beating, I could hear it and I wondered if he could too.

"It's too bad," he murmured softly. "I did like you."

I wondered if he was playing. His zanpakuto was the only thing keeping me alive now- the moment he removed it.

And so I would die, it could have been for worse things. I would die fighting for my friends, I hoped dying quite nobly would give me some gratification in the afterlife. Was there an afterlife after you were already dead? Where did the dead who died go?

In soul society, shinigami who died became part of soul society it's self. The same was true for Hueco mundo. Hollows who died here became the reishi the others used to survive. Their deaths enabled others to live, to heal and to progress. What would my death do?

Would I become part of the energy of this place? Would my own reishi become part of what Nel used to survive?

The pain came the instant he removed the blade, though there was too much to really feel it.

Ulquiorra's arms caught me as I fell down, Aizen muttered something, and Inoue sobbed. Had he forbidden her from healing me? Maybe it was too bad, I would have liked to say goodbye to Nel, to Ulquiorra, to Ichigo, to Rangiku and...

Renji.

"Baka, onna."

Ulquiorra's words were so quiet I could barely work out if I'd heard them. I could have been mistaken, but he was surprisingly gentle as he rested me down on the floor. He had no reason to show me 'kindness' in the way that he did, we were enemies, but, perhaps he liked me enough to at least let me die in peace.

Death is peaceful. Whether it was anyway, or whether that was Ulquiorra's presence over me, I wasn't sure; but I had not felt so calm, so sure of what I should be doing in a long time. I did not regret any of the choices that had brought me thus far; perhaps it was foolish to think, but maybe by being there had saved Neliel at some point, or saved one of my other friends. If I had not made such foolish choices, such... uninformed ignorant choices, I wondered, if I would have even met those people? If I had not met them, perhaps I would have died of something silly like flu without having done anything.

Foolish to hope that my death changed... meant something?

Foolish indeed, but I hear fools are the best type of people...

_To sleep, perchance to dream-  
ay, there's the rub._

**Firstly, thanks to everyone who read, reviewed, faved and such of the same thing. I had so many endings, but well... This isn't quite the end. One more chapter, more of an epilogue. Debating how to write it really, it will be hard to do with suspense but, perhaps I'll be able to do it.**

_I do not own bleach, or any of it's characters, locations, terms, zanpakuto's or anything relating to its 'world'. Shiori belongs to me, though I took inspiration from her from certain other sources. The words in this are mine, and I give no allowance for my words to be posted elsewhere without my prior consent. Shiori is part of my intellectual property, and if you wish to use her, I only ask you ask me first. _


	17. Epilogue

Epilogue

Ten days had passed since the Shinigami and Kurosaki Ichigo had prevailed against Aizen Sosuke in Karakura town. Ichigo had lost his shinigami powers, but he still had his life. In fact, the only ones who had died, had been those of the hollow and one Ichimaru Gin and Kaname Tousen.

Matsumoto Rangiku had come close to death. She closed her eyes and brushed some of her long hair from her face. It sure felt like she had died, Gin... What a foolish person. He was always disappearing without telling her where he was going, he was always doing stupid things.

It was a rather nice day, the sun was high in the sky and no clouds threatened to ruin it. Perhaps she should enjoy it, make the most of the nice weather for it surely could not last this long. She was not in the mood for celebrating.

Despite their victory and the fact they had not lost 'one of their own', the Shinigami did not celebrate.

Rangiku laughed bitterly, putting her hand on her forehead. Of course, they all forgot about one person. "Shiori..."

As if the blow of Gin had not been enough, she learnt later the young, human girl had died also and by the time Inoue Orihime had been free to heal her, there had been nothing left to heal; and as hard as she tried...

She stared, frowning across at the crimson haired vice-captain across from her. She was positive Shiori's death would have affected him, but here he was; laughing, drinking. How could he be so callous? So uninterested, a young girl had died.

Rangiku played it out over, and over. She could have done something- prevented all of this. Perhaps if she hadn't spoken to her Aizen wouldn't have shown such an interest. What if he still had though, and not talking to her, had only settled to make the whole thing worse?

Had there been some way to prevent her death?

"Renji!" She stared firmly at him, slamming her hands on the desk when he just blinked in confusion. "How can you be so light hearted?"

He paused for a moment, debating whether to play off that he had no clue what she was on about or...

Abarai Renji let out an elongated sigh and relaxed back into his seat.

"You know she's not going to come here, right? She was a soul before, her spirit would have become part of Hueco Mundo!"

"I know that."

"So why are you acting like nothing happened?" Rangiku frowned, huffing and folding her arms in annoyance. She'd liked Shiori despite barely knowing her, she was an easy person to like. Her stuttering, her blushing, her painful shyness. Rangiku smiled bitterly again.

Renji stayed quiet. It was true, the pain he'd felt at her death hadn't even been a fraction of what he'd felt at the prospect of Rukia being dead, no, it had been much worse. Much, much worse.

At first, the pain had confused him. A simple, human girl who he barely knew; she'd risked her life, given her life protecting something important to them all... Pain was only natural, but not as much as there was.

Shiori was painfully shy, stubborn but perhaps also brave. She was pretty and... How much did he know about her? Nothing. Maybe he felt sorry for her. She had no one 'alive' to miss her now she was gone, and only a few of the shinigami really knew who she was.

Neliel had gone frantic when she'd felt it. Boy, had he been surprised when in her sudden anger and her desperation to help when the other woman's reishi had disappeared, that she'd turned into a large, rather beautiful and voluptuous woman.

Neliel had held her cold body while Inoue had tried desperately to heal her back up. He remembered the tears of frustration that had rolled down her cheeks. She'd kept trying even when she knew it was no good.

He too, wondered if there had been something he could have done to stop it. She should still be alive! Her life was taken from her without no reason in the first place! She should still be human, going to school none the wiser about any of it! She should have never been involved.

"Renji?" Matsumoto cried again, staring at him firmly.

"I have... a feeling."

She blinked a few times, frowning as she sat back down.

"A feeling?" she tutted. "You're so calm because of a feeling?"

Renji shifted awkwardly. "I don't know! I don't want to be calm, but I am!" He didn't want to be 'fine', despite knowing next to nothing and barely having spoke to her... he considered the girl his friend. "Yamamoto-taichou told me something."

Rangiku's interest perked right up and she put down her sake. Her eyes shone with curiosity, and she lent closer. What had he been told that had him so calm?

Renji sighed in annoyance, Rangiku could be so childish. Funny, really she was quite similar to Neliel; perhaps if they'd had the chance, Shiori and Rangiku would have become good friends. Rangiku was short tempered, lazy, selfish and stubborn. But she had a huge heart, she was the type of friend anyone would be lucky to have.

"He said he was doubtful she would still be in Hueco Mundo, there's a chance she came here instead."

Matsumoto let out an aggravated sigh. "But that doesn't help! She'd just become part of soul society like us when we-" What happened to Gin? Did he come here too? She closed her eyes, sighing as she steadied herself. She wouldn't cry any more over this- that man would not make her shed any more tears.

"That's what I thought too," Renji added quickly, and gently seeing her expression.

The blonde stared at him curiously, blinking as she tried to understand.

"What happened for you to... not think that?"

Renji simply shrugged. "He didn't seem as remorseful as I would have thought he would be," he stared into the cup of sake, frowning lightly in concentration. "Like I said, it's just a feeling."

Rangiku sighed, shaking her head. Basing everything on a feeling... It wasn't like him at all, and she felt like perhaps she should trust his feeling too but... but...! She could think of no further explanation.

"Where is Kuchiki-taichou anyway?"

Renji frowned. "He had a meeting with Yamamoto-taichou," he muttered. "I'm starting to wonder if there's something going on with him and Unohana-taichou." His eye twitched insanely at the thought. Unohana would kill him if she heard about that, if his own captain didn't beat him to it first.

Rangiku giggled and lent closer. "Why's that?"

Renji sighed. "The past week, whenever I've been around his estate to pick up paperwork, she's been there." Unohana very rarely made trips there, and his captain was not injured enough for 'house calls'.

Matsumoto blinked a few times fast. "I wonder... Yachiru sure wouldn't be impressed..." She wondered who was scarier- Yachiru or Unohana. She laughed softly at the thought. "Well..." She stood up and stretched. "I should be getting back before taichou gets annoyed. I didn't do any paperwork," she sighed, brushing her hair out of her face and yawning quite uninterested. "I'll take a nap first."

Renji sighed as she left. She was acting just as calm now as he was. He stayed there for a few minutes more, before he too stood up and left. It really was a nice day- perhaps they should enjoy it. Shiori didn't give her life for them to mope around.

He sighed, deciding to take a walk around the rukongai. It usually relaxed him and helped him think. Rukia was in the human world with Ichigo- funny, he was still alive but he'd lost him as a friend. Loosing Ichigo made him feel more sad than Shiori... And Shiori was gone.

Maybe there was something wrong with him.

"Heh..."

He muttered to himself as he wandered through the crowded streets. The place was surprisingly quiet, perhaps they too picked up on the feelings from outside? He sighed lightly, staring at the sky for a few moments, before he glanced back around at the people. Sometimes there were souls who'd have a good amount of Reiatsu, they'd either die or go onto become Shinigami. Though, just like usual, he felt nothing out of the ordinary, and no one barely noticed him.

He paused when he felt eyes on him, and he glanced around. He didn't like when people stared at him- he hoped they had a good reason for it. Maybe it was some interested kids who hadn't seen a shinigami before.

Renji stopped short when he caught a pair of brilliant emerald coloured eyes staring at him through the crowd. He blinked twice, making sure he was seeing things right. He smirked softly when they kept eye contact with him and the eye's owners soft pink lips too turned up into a soft smile.

Perhaps he would enjoy the beautiful day, he could see no reason not to, after all.

The End.


End file.
